A confluence of events..and I just need to talk about it - RV-Dreams Community Forum

Camper Chronicles · RV-Dreams Family Member

A confluence of events..and I just need to talk about it

cherylbrv · RV-Dreams Family Member

This part of the journey is truly an emotional roller coaster! Other than already owning a coach, we've been in the same shoes - especially with the mostly empty house (you should hear the echoes when we sneeze!) and having to keep it clean for showing. Our almost 21 yr old son has been in a special program away from home for the past 3 years which ends in August, so it's also very emotional for him not to have his childhood home to return to. He's not sure of his plans yet, so we'll need to be back in NJ in August to help him settle down somewhere. I also relate to the loss of job. I had been planning to give notice and see if I could work something out with my employer when I was ready to hit the road, but turns out my job was downsized in December, so my plans were moot.

Everything will happen when and how it's supposed to; not necessarily according to OUR plans of how it should be! But keep the faith and the positive attitude!

BTW, if your job does get downsized, is there any way you could work for them remotely as a subcontractor? It would be a lot cheaper for them as they no longer have to pay your payroll taxes and benefits. I was fortunate to work out a deal with my former employer, who is now my biggest client.

WestWardHo · RV-Dreams Family Member

Lee and Trace,

Wow! That IS a lot on your plates right now! I totally get your stress and need to vent. It is an emotional roller coaster. Your steps for working through it are spot on, I'm proud of you both. That daughter of yours is amazing and delightful. She'll be fine. Maybe she'll end up designing electrical systems for RV's which would be great since a woman's perspective is needed in more than decorating them. It was great that you brought her to the Rally so she could understand the life you're choosing. It is normal for all kids to feel sad at the loss of their childhood home, whether the parents are downsizing or moving to their RV's.

Here's one suggestion that might help: Google "proposal to telecommute template" and do a proposal for your boss now, ahead of the upcoming major job changes. This could plant a seed before final irreversible decisions are made at your company.

Cheryl, I loved your (you should hear the echoes when we sneeze)! I laughed out loud.

Sherry

Dog Folks · RV-Dreams Family Member

You will get through this. I promise.

Many of us have already.

Then, you will be FREE FREE FREE!

Six months from now, you will wonder: "Why was I worried?"

-- Edited by Dog Folks on Sunday 25th of May 2014 07:09:12 AM

LibertyLinda · RV-Dreams Family Member

Lee and Trace,
The one thing about journaling (hopefully you are) about this journey is that you can process and vent all the incredible emotions that go into this. The most amazing thing is how we do assign emotions to 'stuff', as evidenced by my sobbing as I scanned photos I chose not to bring (Ruski laughed at me, then I laughed and then it was all okay).
You will read back on your journal later on and relive the memories and emotions and it is really all designed to build resiliency. I believe that is needed in full timing- that and that nomadic sense of adventure. If you try to re-frame things into an 'adventure' perhaps that will help.
BTW, Scott's son is in the Army. When he graduated we took the RV (our previous Class A) to see that awesome event at Ft.Benning in Georgia, got to see my sister in North Carolina on the way - so the whole trip was another adventure and we loved it. Full timing will allow you all to have new adventures - jobs and all!
Anyway, tons of hugs to you and Lee.

el Rojo and Pam · RV-Dreams Family Member

Trace, everything will work out fine. Remember you are not alone, many of us have been through the same thing. If you fall we will catch you.

Red

Jo and Ben · RV-Dreams Family Member

Wow, Trace! What a wild ride. Hang on! Remember to keep taking deep breaths and know that everything will work out fine. I agree with everyone who says that things happen the way they are supposed to, when they are supposed to. It sounds like the shake-ups happening at your job will ultimately end up determining your path. Some great ideas here about looking for ways to sub-contract or telecommute, things I know you have been considering. My thoughts are with you, sending you love and serenity :) (Remember you can call me anytime.)

Red, I have to say your comment of "If you fall we will catch you" brought tears to my eyes!!

Jo

cherylbrv · RV-Dreams Family Member

Jo and Ben wrote:
Red, I have to say your comment of "If you fall we will catch you" brought tears to my eyes!!

Mine, too!

WestWardHo · RV-Dreams Family Member

cherylbrv wrote:
Jo and Ben wrote:
Red, I have to say your comment of "If you fall we will catch you" brought tears to my eyes!!

Mine, too!

Us too, but not surprised by "our" Red!

Sherry & Jesse

jrzygrl64 · RV-Dreams Family Member

I am completely tearing up! I have had a "week" and reading that - Red - wow - I just lost it! Now Bill is going to be asking "what's wrong?"

Tracy - as soon as I get a few chores done - your phone will be ringing!

BiggarView · RV-Dreams Family Member

Glad you shared. In a world where everybody is concerned with their own business and doesn't seem to care about anybody else, the outpouring of support and empathy is just utterly awesome. What a great "family". Hard to top what's been said so far, so we'll just add some postive thoughts for a smooth outcome and no matter how that unfolds it will be all good in the end. smile

Terry and Jo · RV-Dreams Family Member

cherylbrv wrote:
Our almost 21 yr old son has been in a special program away from home for the past 3 years which ends in August, so it's also very emotional for him not to have his childhood home to return to. He's not sure of his plans yet, so we'll need to be back in NJ in August to help him settle down somewhere.

I would like to address this one part of your post, Cheryl.

I have no idea of your son's needs, but when we talked to our kids, we stressed that home is us, not a house, and that wherever we are, that can be "home" to them as well.

We had our "family," meaning our two sons and the one's family over for a cookout about a week ago. The four grandkids loved going in and out of the coach. At one point, the "second" son asked about how we pulled the trailer. So, before they all left, I showed him the pin box and pin and then put all four kids in the bed of the F450 and explained where that "pin" went for towing. As I was getting the four back out of the truck, one of them asked his parents, "Can we get one of these?"

I don't really see that happening, but one never knows.

Terry

cherylbrv · RV-Dreams Family Member

Thanks for the encouragement, Terry! Actually, we have been telling him since we started planning this 3 years ago. He's cool with it. He has no interest in coming with us, but he's very supportive. He doesn't want to live with us in any case - he wants to be fully independent! I have no problem with that.

Camper Chronicles · RV-Dreams Family Member

el Rojo and Pam wrote:
Trace, everything will work out fine. Remember you are not alone, many of us have been through the same thing. If you fall we will catch you.

Red

Red you did make me cry. Love you and Pam so much. Thanks so much to all my friends for the encouragement. I finally opens up to Lee and just as he said " the universe has given us NO signs we are doing the wrong thing." Our first hummingbird of the season landed on our feeder and took a long drink. That was my sign everything would be ok. Living in a reality where you have slowed down enough to see a moment like that and actually appreciate it is worth struggling for.

Thank you again for your udder standing and compassion

Trace

Dave and Denise · RV-Dreams Family Member

When I feel a little overwhelmed or concerned about how events are taking place in my life, I normally think of the friends and family that would trade their concerns in a heartbeat for what I am going through. Then I simply say to myself, "how fortunate I am to have that to be worried about."

Howard · Host

Lee & Trace,

You have a lot going on and many things to focus on all at the same time. But it's good that you are looking for the little moments like the hummingbird that help you stay on track and keep your eye on the big picture. I'm sure you have done your "What's the worst that can happen?" scenarios and everything can be worked through although there may be challenges.

It was this transition phase and the emotions you are going through now that prompted Linda to want to create her "Emotional Aspects" seminar for our Rallies. If you recall, she felt like she was alone when we were going through some of the same things because I couldn't find anyone back in 2005 that was sharing what they went through emotionally. So, if nothing else, give yourself a pat on the back for sharing here. You have helped countless people by "talking about it".

The RV-Dreams Family is here for you. But of course you already knew that from the other heartfelt posts before this one. smile

Barbaraok · RV-Dreams Family Member

Remember that you need to treat yourself to something once in a while. Personally I found that an ice cream cone a great way to celebrate checking another item off of the list. And include your family in your little celebration. And don't forget, that ice cream also works well on those days when things didn't quite go right and you need a little comforting.

Barb

cherylbrv · RV-Dreams Family Member

I need to clean out my deep freezer by next week. There was a sale on ice cream a few months back. We need to eat about 5 half gallon containers by next week. Come on over to NJ to help us eat it!!!

bryanks487 · RV-Dreams Community Member

Decided to chime in here. What a great group you are.

We have been fulltiming for 9 months and have been a member/lurker here for many years before but I don't post very often. I feel very drawn in by you all and have decided that I need to participate more sooooo

Trace, I agree with what everyone here has said and it is great that you have met many of these people at the rally and so have such great support and that you realize that.

I will comment in regard to your daughter. Our son graduated high school in 2011 and joined the Navy, leaving for boot camp in July. He graduated in September and when we went to the graduation he was a different person. He was no longer a child but a man, still my baby though ;). The way he presented himself was amazing. We are so proud. He went from someone who really wasn't sure what he wanted to do with his life to a 100% confident individual. We realized that he was his own individual and he knew that we wanted to live in the motorhome, which we had already purchased. We asked him how he felt about us selling his childhood home, there was no hesitation in his response. He told us we should do it, he still had us and our support and that was what was important. Four months later the house was on the market and we moved into the motorhome fulltime in November 2012 but I didn't leave my job until June 2013.

The reason I have babbled on about this is that I think that once your daughter is in the Air Force she will realize that she will always have the memories that were made in your house and she still has you but everyone has to have their path to follow. She will be living her life wherever she is stationed. We were fortunate in that we didn't have the discussion with him before he had left and was in the Navy. I think he may well have been hesitant before he left.

I applaud you for managing all this at the same time. You all have a lot on your plates at the moment and are all going through major changes and so it's normal to be stressing. It will be hard but you will get through it and it will be worth it. Deep Breaths.......

Sue

Good luck to you all for this exciting emotional roller coaster of life that you are in.

NWescapee · RV-Dreams Family Member

Trace - thinking of you and wishing you the best. Everyone has a different experience going through this change, a year ago today we were going through and evaluating the 5 offers we had received on our house over the Memorial Day weekend. It turned out we still had 6 weeks left in our house at that time before we finally closed, with purging, 3 art shows for Dale's business, an out of town business trip for me, more purging, my Dad having hip replacement surgery, health issues with another family member, etc.

Now, a year later? No regrets, looking back I'm not sure how we got through it all, but we did and YOU WILL!!

DebbieM · RV-Dreams Family Member

You and Lee are so organized and really seem to roll with the punches. I have no doubt you'll conquer this!! Look how far you've come already!

Camper Chronicles · RV-Dreams Family Member

NWescapee wrote:
Trace - thinking of you and wishing you the best. Everyone has a different experience going through this change, a year ago today we were going through and evaluating the 5 offers we had received on our house over the Memorial Day weekend. It turned out we still had 6 weeks left in our house at that time before we finally closed, with purging, 3 art shows for Dale's business, an out of town business trip for me, more purging, my Dad having hip replacement surgery, health issues with another family member, etc.

Now, a year later? No regrets, looking back I'm not sure how we got through it all, but we did and YOU WILL!!

I appreciate very much what everyone has said...thank you in particular those of you who have been through this and came out the other side ...that REALLY helps. I really do think after hearing so much feedback everyone goes through a moment like this where everything collides at once. Maybe that's God/Universe way of saying this is a momentous decision and should not be entered into lightly.

Howard and Linda thank you for leading the way and creating this place to get the support that is needed. I give Linda and yourself a hug amount of credit of doing this with no support system and am very thankful I do not have to blaze that particular trail :)

suse1023 · RV-Dreams Family Member

keep your eye on the prize and try not to let the details bog you down.
it's hard, really hard, but so worth it!
we went through what you are going through, and in the middle of it dh was going through chemo again, then I had surgery with chemo and radiation out of state right after. we closed on the farm four days after my surgery, and lived at camp in the fiver for six weeks before we had to leave it for treatment. and that took so long we didn't get back to our camper for three full months, and we've been happily living and now working out of it ever since.
because I was ill and we needed to move fast we took a significant loss on the farm, and are now working to recoup that and the cost of being ill away from home. (holy cow was that expensive!)

but it's fine, we're living the dream, happy as can be and loving our new life.
and you will too, once those pesky details sort themselves out.
you can do it--and you will do it!