Because we live in a VERY small town and need to keep our jobs intact until all of our ducks are in a row, Lee and I have told very few people about our plans.  Our kids were told first, then our parents (that was interesting), and finally a very few close friends that we could trust to keep it to ourselves.   It's been difficult, because by nature I am extremely open about my life, but after much serious discussion it is absolutely necessary to ensure that in Lee's case in particular the small non-profit he works for does not jump the gun and decide to replace him early.    One side effect of the secrecy was this odd feeling that we were doing somethig wrong.  It was really getting to us both and that's when we sat our parents down and told them.  They were a bit worried,  but overall pretty supportive, mainly concerned that we wouldn't get into financial trouble and how they would get to see us if we were moving around all the time.  The kids were 100% supportive which was huge and really gave us the courage to go forward.  We have been following the rules for the last 25 years...get married, buy a house, raise your kids...so this is really getting out of line which frankly for us is long overdue :)  Anyways, getting off track a bit.  Have other folks had to keep the secret?  How is this effecting you emotionally? 

We kept the secert for about 2 months. Then several family members were really digging deep so we just laid it out to them. Some still don't like it, but thats their problem. I didn't tell my work until I gave my 2 weeks notice. It was funny listening to the gossip about how I was going to another company, how could we afford to travel, had we won a lottery and not told anybody, and the biggie.... was I sick/have an illness..... (yea I did, I was sick of WORKING for them).!

We are right there with you Trace! We have told a handful of people--husband's family and a few close friends--however, beyond that, have told no one. I think that's why I find myself gravitating to this forum as I can research and learn, and have a common bond with many who understand.

We might tell my family over Christmas, IF timing seems right but want to ensure Other than that, we will continue to keep a secret as if it gets out, it could not be ideal as there are certain milestones that we have mapped out. It will be REALLY weird when we put the house on the market and then not talk about it. Best of luck keeping it on the down low. It's much more fun being able to talk about it!!!

I agree with you all.....I have told some close friends about wanting to full-time and a few understand, most don't.  I haven't told any of my family.  They are very traditional and wouldn't understand.

 

Awww, my heart is with you family members who have/had to keep it secret! We were retired so we didn't have to worry about protecting our cash flow. We think all of our kids & sibs & friends are supportive but if they're not they are not telling us to our faces 😄.

Jodie is right, don't feel guilty. I've posted this on another thread on here on a different subject but based upon some posts on here I think it fits.


THE STORY OF THE CRAB BUCKET

One time a man was walking along the beach and say another man fishing in the surf with a bait bucket beside him. As he drew closer, he saw that the bait bucket had no lid and had live crabs inside.
"Why don't you cover your bait bucket so the crabs won't escape?", he said.
"You don't understand.", the man replied, "If there is one crab in the bucket it would surely crawl out very quickly. However, when there are many crabs in the bucket, if one tries to crawl up the side, the others grab hold of it and pull it back down so that it will share the same fate as the rest of them."

So it is with people. If one tries to do something different, get better grades, improve herself, escape her environment, or dream big dreams, other people will try to drag her back down to share their fate.

Moral of the story: Ignore the crabs. Charge ahead and do what is right for you. It may not be easy and you may not succeed as much as you like, but you will NEVER share the same fate as those never try.

Another piece of advice I heard this week relating to business but fits here. Get yourself some trusted advisors, not naysayers to help you implement your plan. In my mind, that's what this website and forum is all about, trusted advisors! Use your own judgement and take just the advice that works for you!

Sherry

-- Edited by WestWardHo on Saturday 23rd of November 2013 12:44:04 PM

We are very fortunate that Bill's employer knows our plans and they will work together to be sure his replacement is trained and ready to step in when the house closes escrow . They're supportive although probably already tired of hearing about all the fun he's going to have while they will be staying on the job for years to come. We would be gone now if not waiting for the youngest to graduate high school - and 2015 seems like a very long time!

Everyone we have told has been supportive although there are a few who are quietly taking a "sure, we'll wait and see how long THAT lasts" attitude about it. Family and long-time friends expect us to do something weird (we usually oblige them) so there was no surprise from them.

We try not to talk about it like it's the only option out there and we certainly don't have it all figured out. It is not something that works for everyone and we understand folks' cynicism about alternative lifestyles.

I have to admit I might find some mystery enticing......it would certainly lend itself to less unsolicited advice .

Protecting your income until you can give your notice is important for your future so I wouldn't feel guilty about making that a priority. The good news is that when you make the move you're leaving behind those you couldn't trust with your dreams. Even better than unloading those boxes of magazines and ornaments you also won't need .

Jodee

Since Sherry shared her story again, and it is a good one when considering relationships, I'll also toss in a little comment.  The following is something I wrote for my blog and is the source of the name of my blog.

“Pioneers Take the Arrows”

Oh, wait. I should be upbeat and taking arrows doesn’t sound like an upbeat thing to say.

So, let me amend that statement.

It was courage and vision that led the pioneers to leave behind a comfortable, settled life and trek West to begin a new life in a new place. Many of those from the East that went West found a strength within themselves that they didn’t see while they were in their old life. Instead of being one of those that just kind of went along with the others in the old life, they became leaders and visionaries in their new lives.

The sentiments of that last paragraph come from a favorite author, Louis L’Amour, in many of his books. So, I can’t really say that it is an original thought from me. However, what he said is truthful.

Welcome to being a pioneer. Look ahead and ignore the “barking dogs” that give you negative opinions and comments. Louis L’Amour also spoke of the barking dogs.

In some of his stories, it was usually a father or older man telling a young boy how it was that when the Westward bound Conestoga wagons rolled through towns, the dogs came out to bark at them. His character then told the young listener that the barking didn’t stop the wagons from going on to their destinations.

Following the advice of the Louis L’Amour characters, may we all forge ahead with our plans, after carefully considering all consequences and leave the “barkers” behind.

Terry

I understand about feeling like you are doing something wrong, I too am waiting to give notice.  I think my boss is concerned though.  We sold the house, moved into a motorhome and my husband is officially retired January 15, 2014.  I am going to give him my notice in the next week or so.   All family and friends are very supportive and wish they too could go full timing.  Just keep your eye on the ball...

Been fulltiming since early 2010. My older daughter was not thrilled but never gave us a hard time. Mostly it was because she would have liked us around to spend time with her own daughters. Not by fault she waited until 40 and 43 to have her kids! We do get back often to visit as we miss them bunches.

Only person who was really negative was my ex-husbands wife. She said she had a friend who fulltimed for a year and hated it. Therefore, we would hate this lifestyle. I am thinking, I was married to her husband and hated THAT lifestyle!

Lee and I appreciate the incredibly thoughtful responses. The crab story in particular really spoke to us :). Over the years, I have been on different forums for different things but I have never seen a group like this. You guys are absolutely the best!!!!

I am so sorry for those of you who have to "hide" this dream. Dreams are the very things that keep us moving forward in life. They are only lost when we loose sight of them. My husband and I have spend the last 25 years (police officer & nurse) watching the effects of illness, fate and bad choices on people's lives. We have seen and heard of countless people struck down in the "prime of their life" still waiting to live their dreams. Not us! We will not settle for a life not lived! I wish I could say that there were no naysayers, but most of those we tell understand that this is a choice for us that will fulfill a lifelong desire to see the country from the ground. They are for the most part, excited for us, and I think for many jealous. For those who aren't supportive, I just think maybe someday our courage will inspire them to "live their dream" too. Life's too short to waste even a second. So every day I continue planning, as we look forward to the day in the very near future that we can hit the road for our next adventure! I hope you all are their to greet us!

Judy

Remembering most things in life: Those who say it can't be done are often run over by people getting it done.