Transitioning to Full-timer, Lots of fears coming up as solo woman, Excitement too, help!
Yoma said
10:08 AM May 17, 2016
My name is Valerie - I used Yoma as a sign in name - that's what my grandchildren call me. I'm a lifelong camper (tents, tent trailer, Class A in the 90's) and nature lover. I love to bicycle and swim, too. Happiest when I'm immersed in nature and sharing time with good friends and family. In the next six months I plan to become a solo, woman full-timer. I'm excited and scared! In the last few days, as I approach the final purchase of an RV, the fear keeps coming up. I'm used to being alone, able to handle lots of life challenges, somewhat handy, love driving an RV and dealing with most of what RV life involves. The fear seems to center around - not will I actually be safe staying in various campgrounds and boondocking - but will I get caught up in irrational fears? Anyone have that problem, especially when starting out? I worry that this strong sense of fear, mixed in with the excitement may mean that this long-held dream of RV full-timing is not right for me!!! Would love to hear some responses.
TRAILERKING said
10:38 AM May 17, 2016
Welcome aboard.
My biggest fear is................Will I have enough MONEY.
Yoma said
10:45 AM May 17, 2016
Ah yes, fears around MONEY! That may be part of it too. Thank you for replying so quickly.
Someday said
02:44 PM May 17, 2016
Valerie, I can totally relate to your fears. For me for the longest time it was the fear of not having a SnB to come back to (that's totally gone with time and addressing the "what if's scenarios"), the second biggest fear was what happens if we run out of money before we run out of air, ironically that too has now boiled down to whether we are FT RVing or not, it could happen. We've now put in check points at various time frames/balances to deal with that.
Fear is a funny thing, it's our protection mechanism for the most part, and what some fear others don't = we all have to address our own personal fears and how to handle them. Fear will either hold us back or propel us forward = Fear of if you don't and fear of if you do.
Only you know what fears you can and cannot deal with. For example: We are avid boondockers and I have to be honest that there have been a couple of times hubby's parked up and I've just not settled comfortably to sleep, and we've ended up getting back on the road moseying on down a little further to somewhere I've felt more comfortable - even after tossing and turning until 2am in the morning once. Now we know if mama don't feel right, then we might as well move on anyways.
Don't let the fear of the unknown be what holds you back from achieving your dreams. Maybe find a way around doing it on a psychologically temporary basis if that helps you at the outset???
SD.
PIEERE said
06:52 PM May 17, 2016
First of all; Welcome! Lot of good information here and many experienced RVers! Don't believe you have much to fear staying safe in campgrounds. Boondocking is another thing! Do you mean using store parking lots or out in public lands???
gypsymaus said
07:07 PM May 17, 2016
A women pulled in next to us today. She is solo and a retired school teacher. I thought of your post and wanted to share with you what she told me. She purchased her motorhome a year ago. She drove it and became familiar with it from one end to the other. Once she was comfortable she sold her home, and took the step to full-time. She seems very comfortable and excited. Go slowly.
-- Edited by gypsymaus on Tuesday 17th of May 2016 07:08:11 PM
Yoma said
11:13 AM May 18, 2016
Wow, thank you for your thoughtful, helpful response. I particularly liked when you said "Fear will either hold us back or propel us forward = Fear of if you don't and fear of if you do." I've been making lists of pros and cons - maybe I should look at "fears if I don't" versus "fears if I do". And yet, fear is so irrational.
At first I thought that living in an RV would be cheaper than living in my relatively cheap apartment in the SF Bay area. BUT - once I started adding up the costs, that's is not the case, unless I buy a cheap RV. As a solo woman, I want to feel confident that I have an RV that is relatively less likely to break down and leave me stranded alone. Anyway, I need to either choose the RV lifestyle or not, based on other things besides money. Though of course factoring in money.
I'm thrilled there is a place where I can interact with experienced RV'ers to work these questions out, either before taking the leap or after. Thank youf ro your help,
Valerie
Yoma said
11:16 AM May 18, 2016
Go slowly. Yes - that's what I need to remember. Go slowly getting used to the RV, learning about it. Go slowly in transitioning to full-time - investing the extra money of having my apartment and having the rv, at least for a few months. Go slowly on the road. Go slowly when something breaks down. Go slowly while trying to figure out next steps.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and those of the retired solo woman.
Yoma said
11:21 AM May 18, 2016
Various fears, many irrational ones, have been popping up as I get close to committing lots of money into an RV. I loved boondocking with my husband when he was alive and preferred it to private campgrounds generally. I figure I'll ease into some boondocking when I'm ready to try it. Staying in parking lots doesn't appeal to me much - again, this may be something I'd do when I'm more comfortable overall. I guess I'll try various things and see how it feels. I'm so glad there are many ways to connect with other RVer's, solo women and others, via the internet. I may do some caravaning too. Thanks for replying to my post.
Jim01 said
01:29 PM May 18, 2016
Yoma, Get used to listening to that "little voice inside" your head. Through-out all the years of full-timing we've done, there's only been a couple of Campgrounds that we've stayed at that one or the other of us felt uncomfortable. If we pull into a park and that "little voice" tells us something isn't right, we head on down the road to another park.
All in all, we've felt very safe and if you stay in RV Parks, I don't believe you'll have anything to worry about.
Good luck and keep listening,
Jim
Yoma said
02:07 PM May 18, 2016
Thanks, Jim. That little voice is the one to listen too - especially if I can find it through the larger, more noisy irrational fear one!
Yoma- Valerie
lb311 said
10:47 AM May 21, 2016
Hi Yoma--
I've been full-timing as a solo woman for over 2 years now. Prior to that, I RV'd solo about 6 months out of each year, so enough time to work through any fears of camping solo, dealing with the RV solo, etc. The fear about getting stranded alone was solved for me by buying a toad for my motorhome. Yes, it's 10 minutes of extra work to hook/unhook on every travel day, but it greatly eases my mind knowing I have a 2nd mode of transportation should my RV break down in a place where there's no cell phone coverage. Frankly, nowadays, Verizon coverage is great and the RV has been super reliable, so the toad is more appreciated as my local transportation (and a "garage" for extra storage).
I won't say solo full-timing is always sunshine and daisies. It shocked and depressed me how I lost some long-time local friends when I did the unthinkable and gave up a permanent house for a rolling one. But, I'm now gaining like-minded nomadic friends, and have improved a number of relationships with distant family members because I now can visit them more often. So, all in all, I am very happy living this nomadic life and prefer it to being a solo in the suburbs.
I do find it comforting to return to the familiarity of my home town (Chicago) every year for a few weeks, and to ensure that visits with family and friends are interspersed regularly throughout the year with the solitary times.
Hope these ideas help! It's a major life change, filled with emotions, but one certainly worth trying!
Lynne
melody said
03:50 PM Jun 4, 2016
Lynne, that was really helpful, thanks. I went to a Rally to learn if I could do this. And it was fabulous, but I did start feeling like the whole world is happy couples in big 5th-wheelers, so it is extra good to hear from a solo who has made it work despite the path not being all blue skies and green lights.
Valerie, similar situation here, although I don't even have the experience you do. Everything would be so much easier if my big guy was still alive, and I would feel so much braver if I had my invincible backup. But, things are the way they are, and I can't see shrinking away from what I feel drawn to do because of fear. Courage is not the absence of fear, it's having the fear and doing it anyway. Once you get off the interstates and away from the cities and suburbs, there are lots of nice fellow travelers out there, and if you reach out a little most of them will help you if you need it.
It's also not an irrevocable thing, and you don't need to get rid of everything you own, although there will be lots of purging. I had to come to terms with that, because grieving is hard enough without becoming an absolute toss-everything minimalist at the same time. If you tour around for some time and find fulltiming is not right for you, guess what, you can sell a used RV, not for what you paid, but you can get out of it, it's just a vehicle like any other. If you put the stuff you can't bear to part with in storage, you can go back for it.
Change and uncertainty naturally makes us humans nervous, but so often it turns out to be completely unnecessary to worry. One of these days I'm going to learn that and stop worrying.
jtrack said
09:43 AM Jun 8, 2016
Welcome aboard, I'm new here also. I know what you are talking about with fear. A little fear is healthy and good, It keeps you on your toes. Just don't let it get the best of you. Look at it this way "Life is an Adventure", roll with it.
Camper Chronicles said
07:10 PM Jun 9, 2016
Yoma wrote:
The fear seems to center around - not will I actually be safe staying in various campgrounds and boondocking - but will I get caught up in irrational fears? Anyone have that problem, especially when starting out? I worry that this strong sense of fear, mixed in with the excitement may mean that this long-held dream of RV full-timing is not right for me!!! Would love to hear some responses.
I was scared most of the time starting out. Truly. I think all the fear means is you are stretching yourself. Then one day..and it wasn't right away, I realized I had lost most of the fear. Actually one better, I was now living a life with far less fear than I had ever experienced. If you weren't at least a little afraid I will be worried for you. This is a big, big change and nothing wrong with taking it seriously.
I wrote a blog post about this very topic not to long ago based on a thread on this forum so I am passing it along.
My and my wife started fulltiming 5 years ago, traveling the USA and loved it everyday.
Unfortunately I lost my wife of almost 40 years to cancer a few months ago so I have been making the transition to a solo fulltimer.
I know my situation is a little different than the topic here of a Solo Woman Fulltimer but I have had some of the same reservations about continuing my Fulltime lifestyle alone.
With my work I typically move about every week or two year round so I am on the move spring, summer, fall and winter.
At every campground I stop at, the awesome people and fellow RVers I meet help me in dealing with traveling as a solo RVer and never feeling alone.
Now I do not boondock or stay in remote / isolated areas but as a solo I always feel safe and if something happened to me and I needed help, there is always somebody close by.
realleah said
12:49 PM Jun 11, 2016
Me, too! I dream of living full-time in an rv or travel trailer or mobile tiny house even though I don't own one yet. I've been reducing my stuff and planning a more minimalist life. And being mobile and closer to nature! My family thinks I've lost my mind. :)
I'm not handy with tools or fixing things, so signed up on this forum to learn more about what I could handle by myself and my dog. I work out of Nashville and my family is at Kentucky Lake. Looks like I'll be around here for a few years until I retire. Ultimate goal is to be on the beach at Gulf Shores or vicinity most of the time.
Yoma said
05:39 PM Jun 11, 2016
Thank you for sharing your experience. I"m taking it slowly and hopefully will remember what you've said.
My name is Valerie - I used Yoma as a sign in name - that's what my grandchildren call me. I'm a lifelong camper (tents, tent trailer, Class A in the 90's) and nature lover. I love to bicycle and swim, too. Happiest when I'm immersed in nature and sharing time with good friends and family. In the next six months I plan to become a solo, woman full-timer. I'm excited and scared! In the last few days, as I approach the final purchase of an RV, the fear keeps coming up. I'm used to being alone, able to handle lots of life challenges, somewhat handy, love driving an RV and dealing with most of what RV life involves. The fear seems to center around - not will I actually be safe staying in various campgrounds and boondocking - but will I get caught up in irrational fears? Anyone have that problem, especially when starting out? I worry that this strong sense of fear, mixed in with the excitement may mean that this long-held dream of RV full-timing is not right for me!!! Would love to hear some responses.
My biggest fear is................Will I have enough MONEY.
Fear is a funny thing, it's our protection mechanism for the most part, and what some fear others don't = we all have to address our own personal fears and how to handle them. Fear will either hold us back or propel us forward = Fear of if you don't and fear of if you do.
Only you know what fears you can and cannot deal with. For example: We are avid boondockers and I have to be honest that there have been a couple of times hubby's parked up and I've just not settled comfortably to sleep, and we've ended up getting back on the road moseying on down a little further to somewhere I've felt more comfortable - even after tossing and turning until 2am in the morning once. Now we know if mama don't feel right, then we might as well move on anyways.
Don't let the fear of the unknown be what holds you back from achieving your dreams. Maybe find a way around doing it on a psychologically temporary basis if that helps you at the outset???
SD.
A women pulled in next to us today. She is solo and a retired school teacher. I thought of your post and wanted to share with you what she told me. She purchased her motorhome a year ago. She drove it and became familiar with it from one end to the other. Once she was comfortable she sold her home, and took the step to full-time. She seems very comfortable and excited. Go slowly.
-- Edited by gypsymaus on Tuesday 17th of May 2016 07:08:11 PM
Wow, thank you for your thoughtful, helpful response. I particularly liked when you said "Fear will either hold us back or propel us forward = Fear of if you don't and fear of if you do." I've been making lists of pros and cons - maybe I should look at "fears if I don't" versus "fears if I do". And yet, fear is so irrational.
At first I thought that living in an RV would be cheaper than living in my relatively cheap apartment in the SF Bay area. BUT - once I started adding up the costs, that's is not the case, unless I buy a cheap RV. As a solo woman, I want to feel confident that I have an RV that is relatively less likely to break down and leave me stranded alone. Anyway, I need to either choose the RV lifestyle or not, based on other things besides money. Though of course factoring in money.
I'm thrilled there is a place where I can interact with experienced RV'ers to work these questions out, either before taking the leap or after. Thank youf ro your help,
Valerie
Go slowly. Yes - that's what I need to remember. Go slowly getting used to the RV, learning about it. Go slowly in transitioning to full-time - investing the extra money of having my apartment and having the rv, at least for a few months. Go slowly on the road. Go slowly when something breaks down. Go slowly while trying to figure out next steps.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and those of the retired solo woman.
Various fears, many irrational ones, have been popping up as I get close to committing lots of money into an RV. I loved boondocking with my husband when he was alive and preferred it to private campgrounds generally. I figure I'll ease into some boondocking when I'm ready to try it. Staying in parking lots doesn't appeal to me much - again, this may be something I'd do when I'm more comfortable overall. I guess I'll try various things and see how it feels. I'm so glad there are many ways to connect with other RVer's, solo women and others, via the internet. I may do some caravaning too. Thanks for replying to my post.
Yoma, Get used to listening to that "little voice inside" your head. Through-out all the years of full-timing we've done, there's only been a couple of Campgrounds that we've stayed at that one or the other of us felt uncomfortable. If we pull into a park and that "little voice" tells us something isn't right, we head on down the road to another park.
All in all, we've felt very safe and if you stay in RV Parks, I don't believe you'll have anything to worry about.
Good luck and keep listening,
Jim
Thanks, Jim. That little voice is the one to listen too - especially if I can find it through the larger, more noisy irrational fear one!
Yoma- Valerie
I've been full-timing as a solo woman for over 2 years now. Prior to that, I RV'd solo about 6 months out of each year, so enough time to work through any fears of camping solo, dealing with the RV solo, etc. The fear about getting stranded alone was solved for me by buying a toad for my motorhome. Yes, it's 10 minutes of extra work to hook/unhook on every travel day, but it greatly eases my mind knowing I have a 2nd mode of transportation should my RV break down in a place where there's no cell phone coverage. Frankly, nowadays, Verizon coverage is great and the RV has been super reliable, so the toad is more appreciated as my local transportation (and a "garage" for extra storage).
I won't say solo full-timing is always sunshine and daisies. It shocked and depressed me how I lost some long-time local friends when I did the unthinkable and gave up a permanent house for a rolling one. But, I'm now gaining like-minded nomadic friends, and have improved a number of relationships with distant family members because I now can visit them more often. So, all in all, I am very happy living this nomadic life and prefer it to being a solo in the suburbs.
I do find it comforting to return to the familiarity of my home town (Chicago) every year for a few weeks, and to ensure that visits with family and friends are interspersed regularly throughout the year with the solitary times.
Hope these ideas help! It's a major life change, filled with emotions, but one certainly worth trying!
Lynne
Valerie, similar situation here, although I don't even have the experience you do. Everything would be so much easier if my big guy was still alive, and I would feel so much braver if I had my invincible backup. But, things are the way they are, and I can't see shrinking away from what I feel drawn to do because of fear. Courage is not the absence of fear, it's having the fear and doing it anyway. Once you get off the interstates and away from the cities and suburbs, there are lots of nice fellow travelers out there, and if you reach out a little most of them will help you if you need it.
It's also not an irrevocable thing, and you don't need to get rid of everything you own, although there will be lots of purging. I had to come to terms with that, because grieving is hard enough without becoming an absolute toss-everything minimalist at the same time. If you tour around for some time and find fulltiming is not right for you, guess what, you can sell a used RV, not for what you paid, but you can get out of it, it's just a vehicle like any other. If you put the stuff you can't bear to part with in storage, you can go back for it.
Change and uncertainty naturally makes us humans nervous, but so often it turns out to be completely unnecessary to worry. One of these days I'm going to learn that and stop worrying.
I was scared most of the time starting out. Truly. I think all the fear means is you are stretching yourself. Then one day..and it wasn't right away, I realized I had lost most of the fear. Actually one better, I was now living a life with far less fear than I had ever experienced. If you weren't at least a little afraid I will be worried for you. This is a big, big change and nothing wrong with taking it seriously.
I wrote a blog post about this very topic not to long ago based on a thread on this forum so I am passing it along.
https://camperchronicles.com/2016/03/24/living-a-life-with-less-fear/
Unfortunately I lost my wife of almost 40 years to cancer a few months ago so I have been making the transition to a solo fulltimer.
I know my situation is a little different than the topic here of a Solo Woman Fulltimer but I have had some of the same reservations about continuing my Fulltime lifestyle alone.
With my work I typically move about every week or two year round so I am on the move spring, summer, fall and winter.
At every campground I stop at, the awesome people and fellow RVers I meet help me in dealing with traveling as a solo RVer and never feeling alone.
Now I do not boondock or stay in remote / isolated areas but as a solo I always feel safe and if something happened to me and I needed help, there is always somebody close by.
Me, too! I dream of living full-time in an rv or travel trailer or mobile tiny house even though I don't own one yet. I've been reducing my stuff and planning a more minimalist life. And being mobile and closer to nature! My family thinks I've lost my mind. :)
I'm not handy with tools or fixing things, so signed up on this forum to learn more about what I could handle by myself and my dog. I work out of Nashville and my family is at Kentucky Lake. Looks like I'll be around here for a few years until I retire. Ultimate goal is to be on the beach at Gulf Shores or vicinity most of the time.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I"m taking it slowly and hopefully will remember what you've said.
Yoma/Valerie