Took a step, feeling a little panicky, and a comment or two about the group
Camper Chronicles said
08:36 AM Jan 20, 2014
We found a new permanent home for our dog this weekend (Lovely people, friends of our daughter decided to take her). We decided awhile back we didn't want to take her on our new adventure with us. Mainly because she doesn't travel well at all. Even short trips in the car to the vet are extremely painful. Plus to be honest we didn't want the additional responsibility. I know many people travel very well with their pets and while I respect that our choice (at least initially) is a different one. That's NOT what this thread is about. It's about taking the first big step that's permanent and needing to take a deep breath. All the other things we have done to date (buying a new truck, ordering an RV, downsizing our stuff), work in our future whether or not we go on the road full time. This decision is definitely the first concrete thing we have done that I would not have done if we weren't going to Full time. It has a symbolism to it. For Lee it was buying the new truck, since he never would have purchased an F350 if we weren't going to FT. For me it's the dog.
Anyways, I am breathing through it. I think it takes a lot of courage to change your life and courage isn't the absence of fear.... it's looking that fear square in the eye and moving ahead in spite of it. As we move beyond the daydream stage into reality, I imagine we will have many of these moments and I want to be able to share them here. Saying a things out loud (virtually at least) lessens it's power over you.
I would like to say one thing more...this is a great group of people. But sometimes I feel like there is some judgement if everything is not presented as a positive. I love to plan...yes over plan...but that is my comfort zone and why can't I. It doesn't hurt anyone and if it gets me there more power to me. Yet I often see comments around being flexible as if planning and flexibility are two diametrically opposed ideas...they really aren't. I am not a day dreamer...Lee is thank God or we never would have found this lifestyle...but I am not. Instead I like to visualize what my life will look like and work from there, which is tough because this lifestyle looks different for every single person that does it. There really is no black and white and since I tend to be less comfortable in the grey that's been tough for me. For me choosing this life requires personal growth and getting outside my comfort zone. I want to be able to say those things without feeling as if I am not worthy in some way.
All that being said, I realize that because this whole change is so emotionally packed for me, it's quite likely I am reading waaaay more into the responses I get than I need to :) And I certainly don't want everyone just agreeing with me all the time...that kind of defeats the purpose :) Having people who get it is amazing...having those same people not agree is tougher and can lead to some self doubt. I think as a group we need to keep in mind always Your Miles May Vary...and that is the whole point. Sorry this is so long and I hope it makes sense. Been wanting to say something for awhile and finally thought since I was feeling panicky anyways I might as well get it out there.
I am truly grateful for everyone here.
el Rojo and Pam said
09:01 AM Jan 20, 2014
Trace, here's your first "High Five" for beginning your dream. Don't worry about your posts, you follow your dream the way it works for you and when you need help you can turn to this bunch.
At ta girl TRACE!!!!!!!!!
Red
BiggarView said
09:08 AM Jan 20, 2014
Trace, your dream your way. There are plenty more folks here than not, that will walk that mile with you. Somebody once said of negativity from others "Their opinion does not matter and we do not hear it."
I joined this group recently just because the "vibe" got from the community herein. Gives you a "warm fuzzy". Naysayers be gone.
Alie and Jims Carrilite said
09:15 AM Jan 20, 2014
Little steps make the dream come true!
As said above, don't worry if you posts aren't the happy go lucky ones you read about. Everyone here has gone thru the same type of issues, different stories, but 1 common goal- to be free on the road!
What I try to do is to read the other new posts and threads first and see if anything can relate to me. See how someone else handled the situation, see if anyone makes me laugh- Thanks Lucky Mike!-
The journey to the fulltime lifestyle isn't the smooth flowing road most people make it out to be. Its twisty turney, and you have to cross a lot of bridges to get there.
It gets better, hang in there.
WestWardHo said
09:19 AM Jan 20, 2014
Trace,
Thanks for sharing your fears and thoughts! You said it well. As we were planning I shared some/many of your concerns. I think many of us do.
I'm trying to understand your feelings about "if everything is not presented as a positive". I, for one, think I've shared a lot of our bumps in the highway. It was great to laugh when we recently met up with friends who introduced us to other friends who said, "we've heard of all the trouble you had at first!" Yup it was bumpy and scary.
Trace, I'm not minimizing your thoughts and feelings, they are real and valid. When I read them it reminded me of some of the feelings we went thru.
As we were preparing for this life, I read and retread the thread " the emotional aspects of full timing as it helped me understand others shared my feelings.
My only frustration with SOME (certainly not yours) posts on this forum is the folks who seem to profess their way is the RIGHT or only way. I liked your statement "your miles may vary".
Sherry
bjoyce said
09:42 AM Jan 20, 2014
On the dog, you are smarter than many others. Many try to take a dog with them, knowing the dog doesn't travel well, and are forced by circumstances to find the dog a fixed home while on the road. Dogs have all kinds of personalities and just like people, some do not do well in RVs.
I don't think we expect people to be positive, we just don't want them to be critical or judgmental of others, including their choices. For some people, being negative and critical seem to be the same, and they get in trouble here. Unfortunately being judgmental or critical can come through in posts and some pick it up and take offense. Others pick it up and dig a little to see if the judgmental view is real, which causes blowups. Others detect a possible judgmental viewpoint and try to counter it with "be positive" or "be flexible", which sometimes works, and sometimes doesn't.
I know I am talking around the problem, but I've been on forums for a lot of years, and have learned that people do not change overnight. I have seen people go away in a huff and come back a couple years later with a couple more layers of asbestos on their skin, but most go away for good. I wish I could say I miss these people, but the truth is I don't want to watch my words that closely and offend someone hypersensitive.
-- Edited by bjoyce on Monday 20th of January 2014 09:53:03 AM
Russ Ranger said
10:34 AM Jan 20, 2014
Trace,
Great post, it will help many people.
For me the years of planning our future life was an emotional rollercoaster ride. I became a budgetholic. I planned and planned and than I planned some more. I drove my dear wife crazy. Thankfully she is a "just go for it" kind of person. We make a great pair.
What I see now after hitting the road is that I wish I was more like her. What I see is that many (make that most) of my middle of the night worry sessions weren't really needed. She was right.
That being said I have to admit that as I am experiencing our down time in Mexico, the planner in me is coming back. Idle time may be dangerous for me. Think I'll go do a little more planning.
(Our new puppy just walked across my laptop keyboard....poof....everything was gone. Maybe my thoughts will be clearer on this second typing. I love my pup. Really.)
MarkS said
10:35 AM Jan 20, 2014
Trace, you are approaching this in much the same way I am. I plan as much of the preliminary stuff as I can, truck prep, rv additions like water filters, satellite tv, etc, anything that I can put in place to make the transition easy.
As far as living the dream, that will remain a blank sheet of paper. We have no specific plans as to location or expectation. We are going to take each day as it happens. Adjust to the lifestyle as it evolves for us. Learn from what others share and apply what is relevant. Each of us live differently in a conventional lifestyle, why would FTRV be any different. I believe when someone asks how much it costs they are really wondering if they can make ends meet.
We can share the basic costs of TV and telephone but only the individual can cypher their personal numbers to project whether they can make ends meet.
NWescapee said
10:45 AM Jan 20, 2014
Trace - great post, you are in good company with the anxiety and apprehensive feelings. Many of us have been there, it's a huge change and I think it's perfectly normal to go through a wide range of feelings.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with planning, in fact, if I didn't plan I don't think I'd get any sleep due to the realization for us that this life requires more logistics planning than the old one. With both of us still working, our travel schedule being somewhat dicatated by Dale's art show schedule, the requirement for my job to be within a reasonable distance to an airport, I feel like I have to plan.
What I have learned is that I need to hold those plans loosely, realize that sometimes if we need to change plans I might lose a reservation fee or a deposit, but those are small dollars compared to lost sleep. We never know when something (break down, RV repair is needed, weather issue, family emergency) will change those plans, but part of the beauty of this lifestyle is that we know we can adjust any and all plans with unexpected changes. Right now we have a family situation that could require a rapid move to TX, we've been expecting that at any time this winter, so far that call hasn't come and we are continuing to make plans to slowly make our way to TX by March with an art show and a little more exploring to do on the way.
I've been a planner all my life, I have lists, spreadsheets, lots of bookmarks of things to check out in our travels, etc. Dale has even accused me of making planning into a hobby!!
MarkS said
10:51 AM Jan 20, 2014
Hey Ruth, do you want a copy of Microsoft project? Just sayin'. Of course I would never go that far. No never!
BiggarView said
11:07 AM Jan 20, 2014
Is there 12 step program for all that self denial, Mark?
Penny and Paul said
11:17 AM Jan 20, 2014
Trace - congrats on taking the first step, as hard as it must have been. We planned for 7 years before we went fulltime. I too am a planner, and a list maker, and a visualizer. For me, 'living in an RV, traveling and work camping' was way too vague for me to get my brain around comfortably. I, too, like black and white; grey is just so iffy, and there's so much of it. But I knew the more I could sort out ahead of time, the less I'd have to deal with later. So we took it slow. We researched, went to two RV-Dreams rallies, one Escapees rally, countless RV shows, and talked incessantly about what we wanted out of this new life, and what it would look like. I needed to know what an average day would look like from Paul's perspective as well as my own. I wanted to be sure we wanted the same thing, or at least what we each wanted was compatible.
When I was a kid, I did dance and gymnastics, and when I learned a new routine, I'd 'do' that routine in my head over and over before I fell asleep. I actually felt like I was in the gym even though I was at home in bed. I visualized the fulltime lifestyle that way too, so I'd know how I'd spend my time and what it would feel like.
We retired, sold the house and started living in the RV this last June, and started traveling in November. Has it all gone according to plan? Nope, but that's when flexibility kicks in. Things don't always go according to plan, but they didn't in the stick & brick either. We just do what ever it takes to move past it and get back on track. We've even found that sometimes the unplanned thing worked better than what we'd planned, so we adapted the plan. It's our plan. We can change it whenever we want to!
We all need to live our fulltime life the way it makes sense to each of us, and is comfortable for each of us. There's no right way, and one size definitely does not fit all! Don't take other people's opinions too seriously. Yours is the only one that should matter to you. Get out there and do your thing!
Penny
NWescapee said
11:17 AM Jan 20, 2014
Ha!! I have Microsoft Project but I am not a huge fan of that tool.
You might laugh, but we also found an online tool, Trello, when we first started our house prep planning that both of us could use. Now, as I sort of expected, I ended up being the one to mostly create and update this tool and by the end of our 5 months of buying the RV, truck, prepping and purging the house and getting it on the market, we were back to Dale's favorite method of planning, called "flying by the seat of our pants".
In the end it didn't matter how we got there, the important thing is that we are there. FT RV'ing, out of the gray Seattle winters and loving our first winter in AZ.
cherylbrv said
11:26 AM Jan 20, 2014
MarkS wrote:
Hey Ruth, do you want a copy of Microsoft project? Just sayin'. Of course I would never go that far. No never!
Can I have it? LOL
Trace - I, too, plan things to the microscopic level. And I, too, have chosen not to take my 3 cats on the road and had to find them new homes, so we are almost in the same boat (or should I say, same RV?) for now. Little steps bringing the reality of the plan turned to dream a bit closer.
Good luck!
BiggarView said
11:42 AM Jan 20, 2014
Cheryl, Mark & Trace... we are planning but are a long way off. Cindi is more on the fringe(just aware but not actively reseaching) in this area than me(in the deep end of researching) even though this was her idea. In some ways I'm jealous, not really, of her "putting aside till later" approach and on the other hand I'm grateful that she is allowing me to forge ahead. This week she is visiting her father in Texas. Gayle (& Maxine) used to do a lot of RVing in a class A DP a few years ago, but have since gone off the road and are retired in Rockport. Some of the veterans on this forum may even know them since they have many RV friends from their days on the road and who they apparently keep up with.
I digress... anyway Gayle cautioned us to go easy on the early planning otherwise you'll have the bug so bad you'll go nuts. I didn't know what to make of that at first, but now, I can see there some experience behind that. My point is, planning is good but remember that all good things come in time and all plans are set firmly in Jello as they say.
Cheryl, pass the MS project over here when you finish with after Trace finishes with it after Mark finishes with it.... LOL
MarkS said
12:20 PM Jan 20, 2014
I will dig up my copy of MS Project 2000 and figure out the best way to share it with you all (read: y'all). There is a way to download an image of the CD and for you to burn your own, else there is mail.
The twelve step program didn't work. I needed three or four more steps. No you didn't! Yes I did! It's those voices!
Ruth! An online tool? You are sicker than I thought. Let me pass along some contact info for a counselor that might be able to help...and I get a kickback! Yes, it is all about me.
Brian, (or Brain as I like to spell it when I'm feeling dyslexic)( I had a friend in the AF whose name was Keit3h. It was a misprint on his BC but his parents liked it so they left it in). (Mark, stay on point. Yes, dad) ( voices) OK, Brian, a word of caution about those fringe people. While I am completely obsessed, my wife was a fringe person...until...we went to the RVIA show in LA. Now I own a new fifth wheel. I had no intention of buying that weekend. However, she found "the one". That being said, I'm still the last word and I have her permission to say so.
BiggarView said
12:33 PM Jan 20, 2014
Mark, you know her(my DW) well.(paranoia seeping in, who's mark, how does he know cindi....... silence demons!) At last year's Chicago RV show I had to drag her out of a CedarCreek 36CKTS, she was foaming, just kidding. But it did bite her hard, she has since recovered, but as I wrote in my original introduction, "we've" narrowed it down to a 5er most likely.... She has decided, I get to sign the contract
WendysPhotos said
01:23 PM Jan 20, 2014
Congratulations to you for taking those first steps.
I am with you on the dog thing with us its cats and horses. We had 15 cats when we started thinking about doing this. Just today I took two more of the outside barn kitties to a new home in another barn. I had been procrastinating because they are all special to us, but we can only take maybe 3 cats and of course no horses. So I am right there with you and the feelings you are feeling.
Just think that they are going to be happy and fine without you and you will be following your dream.
Wendy
Lucky Mike said
01:37 PM Jan 20, 2014
The nice thing about a pet is they are sent to us!!!.......They teach us things about our self that can be taught no other way , once the lesson is complete they move on to teach others those same lessons......you never really lose them, the shared gratitude will always be held in the lesson only you know close to your heart!
I believe someday we will always meet again on a higher level of understanding , and when that day comes it will all make sense.....
They teach you the true meaning of happiness....what its like to give from the heart.....and when its time to give!
Congrats on the first of many steps to complete your Dream...
Live , Breathe ,Relax.....................
-- Edited by Lucky Mike on Monday 20th of January 2014 01:38:39 PM
kb0zke said
05:01 PM Jan 20, 2014
There is little we do that can't be undone at some future time should our plans not work out. Suppose that the full-time dream isn't going to even get started (you pick the reason). What then? Well, you can get the dog back, or you can get another one. Sell the house? Buy another one. Sell all your stuff? Buy more. In other words, too often we worry about things that really don't need worry. Does that mean that we should just not pay attention to any details? Of course not. Selling a $300,000 property for $30,000 will probably have a large negative impact on life. We need to watch the details, yes, but not at the expense of the overall scene. The man who will handle our auction told a story about one of his clients who had a tractor and an old pickup. The seller thought the pickup would bring maybe $3000, and he wanted at least $16,000 for the tractor. The pickup actually brought $9500, but the tractor wouldn't go over $15,500. The auctioneer was ready to sell the tractor at that price when the seller rushed in and yelled "No sale!" Of course that killed the rest of the auction, and after it was all over the auctioneer asked the seller why he did what he did. The seller pointed out that the price was $500 less than what he wanted. The auctioneer pointed out that the pickup sold for $6500 MORE than what was expected, so if the sale had gone on the seller would have had both vehicles gone for $25,000, which was $6000 more than what he expected. Seller stopped, scratched his head, and said he hadn't thought of that.
All of have had or will have some setbacks as we prepare for full-timing, but as long as we keep working toward our realistic goals it will all turn out okay. The important word in that last sentence is realistic. Expecting to stay in $100/night luxury parks every night when the monthly income is only $1000 probably isn't realistic, and maybe plans need to be revised. On the other hand, such stays might happen once in a while.
2riker2go said
06:12 PM Jan 20, 2014
Trace wrote:
I would like to say one thing more...this is a great group of people. But sometimes I feel like there is some judgement if everything is not presented as a positive. I love to plan...yes over plan...but that is my comfort zone and why can't I. It doesn't hurt anyone and if it gets me there more power to me. Yet I often see comments around being flexible as if planning and flexibility are two diametrically opposed ideas...they really aren't.
You aren't alone in this! I am a planner also, much more so than a lot of full time rv'ers we meet. I think it's great that people can go down the road having little or no idea where they're going to stop for the night, or how long they're going to stay there, or etc etc. That's not me though. I used to keep it to myself, like there is something wrong with making those decisions ahead of time. But now I just feel ok saying, this is how we do it, and we like it that way. :)
bjoyce said
06:40 PM Jan 20, 2014
Those who plan will continue to plan, those who don't will continue to not plan. I remember two women talking, both fulltimers, but people who knew each other well and were friends before fulltiming. The one would have her travel plans for the next year all arranged, reservations made, input from her husband, etc. The other and her husband were both very seat of the pants on their travels. The planner would give her friend the itinerary for the year. Whenever the flexible couple would decide where they were going they would check the itinerary, if they were going to be within 500 miles of their friends, they would divert and meet up. This went on for years. Everyone was happy.
hawhawmomma said
06:49 PM Jan 20, 2014
Trace, I can totally identify with the "giving up" of your dog. I have raised/bred Ragdoll cats and I am now in the process of getting rid of my sweet adult cats. It is hard. They are my companions (along with my daughter's college tuition). I sit here with my last five, hoping beyond hope to find them loving homes and knowing how much I am going to miss them. It is one of the great sacrifices I am making to start putting my RV dream into a reality....and frankly, this part hurts and sucks.
Planning for me is a must. Totally understand. But plans can cause pain to achieve a better life (at least that is what I tell myself)
Best of luck and know that what is right for us, will be so.
Helen
manycats said
06:49 PM Jan 20, 2014
Some of us may sound like Pollyannas, some (not us) may sound like the voice of doom, some plan down to the itsy bitsy details. some float like butterflies. Don't worry about being criticised or judged, that is not the purpose or even the general trend of this forum. As a matter of fact, our moderator does a great job taking care of that. The best part of it is that you can be exposed to many different opinions and have the opportunity to pick what fits you, even if doesn't fit anyone else. Don't forget, the mere fact that you consider a life on the road makes you different from a whole bunch of people!
NWescapee said
07:47 PM Jan 20, 2014
We all go about the process differently, it's the end results that matter.
MarkS - no matter how sick you think I am for using an online tool (the idea was that it was to be used collaboratively by Dale and I to keep us on track), guess what? We did it, we made it and now this sicko is on the road having a blast!!!! Better watch out, we do have plans to be back in California in 2014, so I'll be in good company with all the nuts, fruits and flakes in your home state
Terry and Jo said
10:05 PM Jan 20, 2014
All good thoughts here with regard to planning or not planning. It has brought back to my mind my roots in agriculture. We would watch the weather but long ago learned that one took what came as we had no control over those events in our lives. However, in all our minds were that we planned for one job to be done, but if weather prevented it, we normally had a secondary plan that would come about, even if that plan was "spur of the moment." For instance, if we couldn't work in the fields with tractors and implements because of rain, we fell back and performed maintenance on equipment that would be needed in perhaps 3 months.
Even today, I'll watch the weather but not really notice much unless we have definite travel plans coming up. Even with a change of weather, we are usually prepared with an alternate plan.
Terry
MarkS said
10:42 PM Jan 20, 2014
Whoa whoa whoa miss sicko! This ain't my home state. It just happens to be where the employment machine spit me out. However, the valley is mostly conservative ag people so it isn't bad. It is, the land of fruits and nuts...grapes, oranges, plums, peaches, walnuts, pecans, almonds and pistachios. I'm a Denver, CO native but left there a long time ago to serve my country. I've called the southern tier and Massachusetts home. Soon home will be wherever I am. I haven't slept since we decided to do this. I'm too excited!!!!
NWescapee said
09:28 AM Jan 21, 2014
MarkS - you are going to love this life on the road, you will get more sleep once it actually starts!! I hadn't realized how sleep deprived we both were until the first week or two after we left the driveway for the last time. Hope to meet you out there, have fun planning for it in the meantime.
One more comment on the entire planning aspect of this, in some ways I think we were really fortunate that we pulled the trigger and got this all done very quickly once we decided to do it. I read about people with the 3 year and 5 year plans and know that for us that would have just resulted in more procrastination Dale operates on the "just in time" method of getting things done. We had made the decision in mid 2012 and had started researching online but had no time to really do anything until Jan of 2013. We then spent 4.5 months buying the RV, truck, prepping the house, purging stuff, moving sale, online estate sale, prepping the yard, purging more stuff, moving into the 5th wheel after we finally got it home after more delays than we ever imagined, etc. and the house went on the market. 4.5 months? Yep, we were definitely sleep deprived as we were both also working full time during this entire process. Do I regret it? No, but we did need that plan and even when things fell behind schedule, we at least knew everything that needed to be done to get us to the end point. Without a plan and the long list of things to get done I think it would have taken us much longer than 4.5 months to get things done.
Jake62 said
09:36 AM Jan 21, 2014
Trace wrote:
I love to plan...yes over plan...but that is my comfort zone and why can't I. It doesn't hurt anyone and if it gets me there more power to me. Yet I often see comments around being flexible as if planning and flexibility are two diametrically opposed ideas...they really aren't.
To echo your comments, "I'm a planner." Probably to the extreme, but it's just in my DNA :) However, having owned two RVs in the past, I know you need to develop an aptitude to be "flexible" based on breakdowns, storms, campgrounds openings, etc. I hope to better develop this attribute when I hit the road. My wife has certainly reminded me of this :)
Mark V said
02:18 PM Jan 21, 2014
I consider myself lucky. I've always had dogs, but have been without one for the past 21 years of marriage. Living in the city, I didn't want to subject a dog to the confines of an apartment, especially with me working, and my wife being out of the house as much as she is. But last year she coerced me into getting a cat, and I've never considered myself to be a cat person. In fact, I have allergies that cats normally trigger or exacerbate. But she talked me into this little 9 pound hairless Egyptian Sphinx, and I've never been happier with an animal in my life. Kuphu is extremely intelligent, well behaved, and travels like a champ; perfectly at home in cars, hotels, and in any and all new surroundings. A born nomad. He even makes friends with dogs, whenever they're present, and don't appear overeager to eat him.
So I don't foresee taking him along to be a problem, two years from now when we finally hit the road.
lizardchilds said
01:21 AM Jul 20, 2015
Someone had mentioned Keit3h in an earlier post. For some reason, I can't find that post.
For the person that did mention him:
Keit3h was my brother. He was such an incredible, talented, creative person.
Please contact me. I would love to hear more of your memories of him. My email is lizcnehring@gmail.com
Thank you
Liz Childs
-- Edited by lizardchilds on Monday 20th of July 2015 08:06:38 PM
Curtis and Rhandi said
12:34 PM Jul 20, 2015
Hi Trace - I'm a BIG planner too! I've planned for this adventure for over a year. Planned everything down to the penny, where we will go, where we will stay, etc. I believe in having a plan. I also PLAN for things NOT to go perfectly. We not only have our plan into the full-time life (currently we are living it! We actually get out on the road October 1st!) - but we have an exit plan as well. I don't know many full timers that have gone into this without planning to the max! I'm proud of you! Keep us posted as to how it goes. And we have taken our dogs on the road with us. But they are very good travelers. I had two older babies that I had to put down just before we moved into our fiver. They were both 17 - having seizures, etc. It was time - and instead of upheaving their lives by putting them into the RV - I think we were kind by loving them enough to let them go. Never ever easy. And I respect your decision to not take your fur baby. You did what you needed to do for YOU and YOUR situation - it's not about anyone else but you :) Good luck!
soos said
12:46 PM Jul 20, 2015
Curtis and Rhandi wrote:
Hi Trace - I'm a BIG planner too! I've planned for this adventure for over a year. Planned everything down to the penny, where we will go, where we will stay, etc. I believe in having a plan. I also PLAN for things NOT to go perfectly. We not only have our plan into the full-time life (currently we are living it! We actually get out on the road October 1st!) - but we have an exit plan as well. I don't know many full timers that have gone into this without planning to the max! I'm proud of you! Keep us posted as to how it goes. And we have taken our dogs on the road with us. But they are very good travelers. I had two older babies that I had to put down just before we moved into our fiver. They were both 17 - having seizures, etc. It was time - and instead of upheaving their lives by putting them into the RV - I think we were kind by loving them enough to let them go. Never ever easy. And I respect your decision to not take your fur baby. You did what you needed to do for YOU and YOUR situation - it's not about anyone else but you :) Good luck!
So,
this original post is a year and a half old, and it would be interesting to hear what Trace thinks now!
Do you still plan? Have you decided to go with the flow more? is it stressful if you DON'T plan?
Not Planning is hard for me but I have adjusted to the point that now PLANNING can be stressful.
BiggarView said
03:18 PM Jul 20, 2015
Sue, we aren't on the road yet, and at first we considered the planning portion, but that is more Cindi's bag than mine. We have other details going on at this time so even she is not doing much "planning". I enjoy the research phase but hate planning. That is too much like work for me. I like going with the flow. My only plan is to hold funds in reserve for the unplanned stuff that inevitably will happen and then act quickly to put out whatever fire is burning. Such "in the moment" decisions are usually right and have the benefit of not letting you second guess yourself. Some will be vulnerable to buyers remorse but a little "it is, what it is" mentality will quickly fix that. Having the reserve funds has it's own peace of mind quality that cannot be overstressed. Secondly, more planning, to me, means less spontaneity... the spice of life.
FWIW, Brian
pkhalin said
05:27 PM Jul 20, 2015
Brian,
I'm hoping to get to that spontaneity point you're referring to. When I first got on this forum back in April 2014, I was reading about folks going with the flow. We made the decision back in May of last year and something got the better of me. I ended up planning everything from when we take off in a little less than 2 weeks through the end of March of 2016. I know, that's pretty bad. Even the DW was giving me grief about "what happened to the 'go with the flow' thing".
Well, I hope to shed that. Not going to make any plans with the exception of when we need to be back in Colorado about the July/Aug time frame. If I want to do State Parks in CO, that's darn near impossible without reservations. We'll see if I can 'cut the cord'.
Anticipating happy trails.
shystywolf said
11:35 PM Jul 20, 2015
trace doll this is your life only you can live it. You have to do what is best for you. I am sorry if you have felt people have been negative towards you. I have found that this site is full of people that truly care. I honestly hope you reach your dream. just remember the only you can live your life. stay positive hun. :) I hope you have a bright happy future. and as always happy rving!!!!
Camper Chronicles said
05:21 PM Jul 25, 2015
soos wrote:
this original post is a year and a half old, and it would be interesting to hear what Trace thinks now!
Do you still plan? Have you decided to go with the flow more? is it stressful if you DON'T plan?
Not Planning is hard for me but I have adjusted to the point that now PLANNING can be stressful.
Hey Soos sorry it took me so long to get back to you. Been swamped with my daughters wedding and moving. My answer is heavens yes. I plan more than I ever did when I started this. It's nice to look back and see I wasn't completely clueless :) So why is planning more important than I even I thought it would be?
1. Working on the road in particular coordinating travel days and airplane travel requires careful planning. When I book a work trip a month in advance I need to know where I will be or it costs my company money in airfare changes.
2. Campgrounds in season and in popular places require advance booking. Yes we all like to think you can wander around aimlessly and "happen" across great campsites, and certainly sometimes you can, but if you want to be in a popular place and in season book ahead.
3. Hanging out with friends requires coordination. Yes there is travel serendipity which I love but if you want to make a point to hang out with your friends some advance planning is probably required.
4. Lastly I just feel better. That may change over time, but for now both Lee and I like having a rough idea of where we will be and when. This does not make us inflexible rather that's our comfort zone and I own that.
Thanks for diggin that up...fun to reanswer the question and as always this is my reality and not necessarily yours. Remember there is no one true way to Full Time!!
We found a new permanent home for our dog this weekend (Lovely people, friends of our daughter decided to take her). We decided awhile back we didn't want to take her on our new adventure with us. Mainly because she doesn't travel well at all. Even short trips in the car to the vet are extremely painful. Plus to be honest we didn't want the additional responsibility. I know many people travel very well with their pets and while I respect that our choice (at least initially) is a different one. That's NOT what this thread is about. It's about taking the first big step that's permanent and needing to take a deep breath. All the other things we have done to date (buying a new truck, ordering an RV, downsizing our stuff), work in our future whether or not we go on the road full time. This decision is definitely the first concrete thing we have done that I would not have done if we weren't going to Full time. It has a symbolism to it. For Lee it was buying the new truck, since he never would have purchased an F350 if we weren't going to FT. For me it's the dog.
Anyways, I am breathing through it. I think it takes a lot of courage to change your life and courage isn't the absence of fear.... it's looking that fear square in the eye and moving ahead in spite of it. As we move beyond the daydream stage into reality, I imagine we will have many of these moments and I want to be able to share them here. Saying a things out loud (virtually at least) lessens it's power over you.
I would like to say one thing more...this is a great group of people. But sometimes I feel like there is some judgement if everything is not presented as a positive. I love to plan...yes over plan...but that is my comfort zone and why can't I. It doesn't hurt anyone and if it gets me there more power to me. Yet I often see comments around being flexible as if planning and flexibility are two diametrically opposed ideas...they really aren't. I am not a day dreamer...Lee is thank God or we never would have found this lifestyle...but I am not. Instead I like to visualize what my life will look like and work from there, which is tough because this lifestyle looks different for every single person that does it. There really is no black and white and since I tend to be less comfortable in the grey that's been tough for me. For me choosing this life requires personal growth and getting outside my comfort zone. I want to be able to say those things without feeling as if I am not worthy in some way.
All that being said, I realize that because this whole change is so emotionally packed for me, it's quite likely I am reading waaaay more into the responses I get than I need to :) And I certainly don't want everyone just agreeing with me all the time...that kind of defeats the purpose :) Having people who get it is amazing...having those same people not agree is tougher and can lead to some self doubt. I think as a group we need to keep in mind always Your Miles May Vary...and that is the whole point. Sorry this is so long and I hope it makes sense. Been wanting to say something for awhile and finally thought since I was feeling panicky anyways I might as well get it out there.
I am truly grateful for everyone here.
At ta girl TRACE!!!!!!!!!
Red
Trace, your dream your way. There are plenty more folks here than not, that will walk that mile with you. Somebody once said of negativity from others "Their opinion does not matter and we do not hear it."
I joined this group recently just because the "vibe" got from the community herein. Gives you a "warm fuzzy". Naysayers be gone.
As said above, don't worry if you posts aren't the happy go lucky ones you read about. Everyone here has gone thru the same type of issues, different stories, but 1 common goal- to be free on the road!
What I try to do is to read the other new posts and threads first and see if anything can relate to me. See how someone else handled the situation, see if anyone makes me laugh- Thanks Lucky Mike!-
The journey to the fulltime lifestyle isn't the smooth flowing road most people make it out to be. Its twisty turney, and you have to cross a lot of bridges to get there.
It gets better, hang in there.
Thanks for sharing your fears and thoughts! You said it well. As we were planning I shared some/many of your concerns. I think many of us do.
I'm trying to understand your feelings about "if everything is not presented as a positive". I, for one, think I've shared a lot of our bumps in the highway. It was great to laugh when we recently met up with friends who introduced us to other friends who said, "we've heard of all the trouble you had at first!" Yup it was bumpy and scary.
Trace, I'm not minimizing your thoughts and feelings, they are real and valid. When I read them it reminded me of some of the feelings we went thru.
As we were preparing for this life, I read and retread the thread " the emotional aspects of full timing as it helped me understand others shared my feelings.
My only frustration with SOME (certainly not yours) posts on this forum is the folks who seem to profess their way is the RIGHT or only way. I liked your statement "your miles may vary".
Sherry
On the dog, you are smarter than many others. Many try to take a dog with them, knowing the dog doesn't travel well, and are forced by circumstances to find the dog a fixed home while on the road. Dogs have all kinds of personalities and just like people, some do not do well in RVs.
I don't think we expect people to be positive, we just don't want them to be critical or judgmental of others, including their choices. For some people, being negative and critical seem to be the same, and they get in trouble here. Unfortunately being judgmental or critical can come through in posts and some pick it up and take offense. Others pick it up and dig a little to see if the judgmental view is real, which causes blowups. Others detect a possible judgmental viewpoint and try to counter it with "be positive" or "be flexible", which sometimes works, and sometimes doesn't.
I know I am talking around the problem, but I've been on forums for a lot of years, and have learned that people do not change overnight. I have seen people go away in a huff and come back a couple years later with a couple more layers of asbestos on their skin, but most go away for good. I wish I could say I miss these people, but the truth is I don't want to watch my words that closely and offend someone hypersensitive.
-- Edited by bjoyce on Monday 20th of January 2014 09:53:03 AM
Great post, it will help many people.
For me the years of planning our future life was an emotional rollercoaster ride. I became a budgetholic. I planned and planned and than I planned some more. I drove my dear wife crazy. Thankfully she is a "just go for it" kind of person. We make a great pair.
What I see now after hitting the road is that I wish I was more like her. What I see is that many (make that most) of my middle of the night worry sessions weren't really needed. She was right.
That being said I have to admit that as I am experiencing our down time in Mexico, the planner in me is coming back. Idle time may be dangerous for me. Think I'll go do a little more planning.
(Our new puppy just walked across my laptop keyboard....poof....everything was gone. Maybe my thoughts will be clearer on this second typing. I love my pup. Really.)
As far as living the dream, that will remain a blank sheet of paper. We have no specific plans as to location or expectation. We are going to take each day as it happens. Adjust to the lifestyle as it evolves for us. Learn from what others share and apply what is relevant. Each of us live differently in a conventional lifestyle, why would FTRV be any different. I believe when someone asks how much it costs they are really wondering if they can make ends meet.
We can share the basic costs of TV and telephone but only the individual can cypher their personal numbers to project whether they can make ends meet.
Trace - great post, you are in good company with the anxiety and apprehensive feelings. Many of us have been there, it's a huge change and I think it's perfectly normal to go through a wide range of feelings.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with planning, in fact, if I didn't plan I don't think I'd get any sleep due to the realization for us that this life requires more logistics planning than the old one. With both of us still working, our travel schedule being somewhat dicatated by Dale's art show schedule, the requirement for my job to be within a reasonable distance to an airport, I feel like I have to plan.
What I have learned is that I need to hold those plans loosely, realize that sometimes if we need to change plans I might lose a reservation fee or a deposit, but those are small dollars compared to lost sleep. We never know when something (break down, RV repair is needed, weather issue, family emergency) will change those plans, but part of the beauty of this lifestyle is that we know we can adjust any and all plans with unexpected changes. Right now we have a family situation that could require a rapid move to TX, we've been expecting that at any time this winter, so far that call hasn't come and we are continuing to make plans to slowly make our way to TX by March with an art show and a little more exploring to do on the way.
I've been a planner all my life, I have lists, spreadsheets, lots of bookmarks of things to check out in our travels, etc. Dale has even accused me of making planning into a hobby!!
Is there 12 step program for all that self denial, Mark?
Trace - congrats on taking the first step, as hard as it must have been. We planned for 7 years before we went fulltime. I too am a planner, and a list maker, and a visualizer. For me, 'living in an RV, traveling and work camping' was way too vague for me to get my brain around comfortably. I, too, like black and white; grey is just so iffy, and there's so much of it. But I knew the more I could sort out ahead of time, the less I'd have to deal with later. So we took it slow. We researched, went to two RV-Dreams rallies, one Escapees rally, countless RV shows, and talked incessantly about what we wanted out of this new life, and what it would look like. I needed to know what an average day would look like from Paul's perspective as well as my own. I wanted to be sure we wanted the same thing, or at least what we each wanted was compatible.
When I was a kid, I did dance and gymnastics, and when I learned a new routine, I'd 'do' that routine in my head over and over before I fell asleep. I actually felt like I was in the gym even though I was at home in bed. I visualized the fulltime lifestyle that way too, so I'd know how I'd spend my time and what it would feel like.
We retired, sold the house and started living in the RV this last June, and started traveling in November. Has it all gone according to plan? Nope, but that's when flexibility kicks in. Things don't always go according to plan, but they didn't in the stick & brick either. We just do what ever it takes to move past it and get back on track. We've even found that sometimes the unplanned thing worked better than what we'd planned, so we adapted the plan. It's our plan. We can change it whenever we want to!
We all need to live our fulltime life the way it makes sense to each of us, and is comfortable for each of us. There's no right way, and one size definitely does not fit all! Don't take other people's opinions too seriously. Yours is the only one that should matter to you. Get out there and do your thing!
Penny
You might laugh, but we also found an online tool, Trello, when we first started our house prep planning that both of us could use. Now, as I sort of expected, I ended up being the one to mostly create and update this tool and by the end of our 5 months of buying the RV, truck, prepping and purging the house and getting it on the market, we were back to Dale's favorite method of planning, called "flying by the seat of our pants".
In the end it didn't matter how we got there, the important thing is that we are there. FT RV'ing, out of the gray Seattle winters and loving our first winter in AZ.
Can I have it? LOL
Trace - I, too, plan things to the microscopic level. And I, too, have chosen not to take my 3 cats on the road and had to find them new homes, so we are almost in the same boat (or should I say, same RV?) for now. Little steps bringing the reality of the plan turned to dream a bit closer.
Good luck!
Cheryl, Mark & Trace... we are planning but are a long way off. Cindi is more on the fringe(just aware but not actively reseaching) in this area than me(in the deep end of researching) even though this was her idea. In some ways I'm jealous, not really, of her "putting aside till later" approach and on the other hand I'm grateful that she is allowing me to forge ahead. This week she is visiting her father in Texas. Gayle (& Maxine) used to do a lot of RVing in a class A DP a few years ago, but have since gone off the road and are retired in Rockport. Some of the veterans on this forum may even know them since they have many RV friends from their days on the road and who they apparently keep up with.
I digress... anyway Gayle cautioned us to go easy on the early planning otherwise you'll have the bug so bad you'll go nuts. I didn't know what to make of that at first, but now, I can see there some experience behind that. My point is, planning is good but remember that all good things come in time and all plans are set firmly in Jello as they say.
Cheryl, pass the MS project over here when you finish with after Trace finishes with it after Mark finishes with it.... LOL
The twelve step program didn't work. I needed three or four more steps. No you didn't! Yes I did! It's those voices!
Ruth! An online tool? You are sicker than I thought. Let me pass along some contact info for a counselor that might be able to help...and I get a kickback! Yes, it is all about me.
Brian, (or Brain as I like to spell it when I'm feeling dyslexic)( I had a friend in the AF whose name was Keit3h. It was a misprint on his BC but his parents liked it so they left it in). (Mark, stay on point. Yes, dad) ( voices) OK, Brian, a word of caution about those fringe people. While I am completely obsessed, my wife was a fringe person...until...we went to the RVIA show in LA. Now I own a new fifth wheel. I had no intention of buying that weekend. However, she found "the one". That being said, I'm still the last word and I have her permission to say so.
Mark, you know her(my DW) well.(paranoia seeping in, who's mark, how does he know cindi....... silence demons!) At last year's Chicago RV show I had to drag her out of a CedarCreek 36CKTS, she was foaming, just kidding. But it did bite her hard, she has since recovered, but as I wrote in my original introduction, "we've" narrowed it down to a 5er most likely.... She has decided, I get to sign the contract
I am with you on the dog thing with us its cats and horses. We had 15 cats when we started thinking about doing this. Just today I took two more of the outside barn kitties to a new home in another barn. I had been procrastinating because they are all special to us, but we can only take maybe 3 cats and of course no horses. So I am right there with you and the feelings you are feeling.
Just think that they are going to be happy and fine without you and you will be following your dream.
Wendy
The nice thing about a pet is they are sent to us!!!.......They teach us things about our self that can be taught no other way , once the lesson is complete they move on to teach others those same lessons......you never really lose them, the shared gratitude will always be held in the lesson only you know close to your heart!
I believe someday we will always meet again on a higher level of understanding , and when that day comes it will all make sense.....
They teach you the true meaning of happiness....what its like to give from the heart.....and when its time to give!
Congrats on the first of many steps to complete your Dream...
Live , Breathe ,Relax.....................
-- Edited by Lucky Mike on Monday 20th of January 2014 01:38:39 PM
All of have had or will have some setbacks as we prepare for full-timing, but as long as we keep working toward our realistic goals it will all turn out okay. The important word in that last sentence is realistic. Expecting to stay in $100/night luxury parks every night when the monthly income is only $1000 probably isn't realistic, and maybe plans need to be revised. On the other hand, such stays might happen once in a while.
You aren't alone in this! I am a planner also, much more so than a lot of full time rv'ers we meet. I think it's great that people can go down the road having little or no idea where they're going to stop for the night, or how long they're going to stay there, or etc etc. That's not me though. I used to keep it to myself, like there is something wrong with making those decisions ahead of time. But now I just feel ok saying, this is how we do it, and we like it that way. :)
Planning for me is a must. Totally understand. But plans can cause pain to achieve a better life (at least that is what I tell myself)
Best of luck and know that what is right for us, will be so.
Helen
We all go about the process differently, it's the end results that matter.
Better watch out, we do have plans to be back in California in 2014, so I'll be in good company with all the nuts, fruits and flakes in your home state
MarkS - no matter how sick you think I am for using an online tool (the idea was that it was to be used collaboratively by Dale and I to keep us on track), guess what? We did it, we made it and now this sicko is on the road having a blast!!!!
All good thoughts here with regard to planning or not planning. It has brought back to my mind my roots in agriculture. We would watch the weather but long ago learned that one took what came as we had no control over those events in our lives. However, in all our minds were that we planned for one job to be done, but if weather prevented it, we normally had a secondary plan that would come about, even if that plan was "spur of the moment." For instance, if we couldn't work in the fields with tractors and implements because of rain, we fell back and performed maintenance on equipment that would be needed in perhaps 3 months.
Even today, I'll watch the weather but not really notice much unless we have definite travel plans coming up. Even with a change of weather, we are usually prepared with an alternate plan.
Terry
MarkS - you are going to love this life on the road, you will get more sleep once it actually starts!! I hadn't realized how sleep deprived we both were until the first week or two after we left the driveway for the last time. Hope to meet you out there, have fun planning for it in the meantime.
Dale operates on the "just in time" method of getting things done. We had made the decision in mid 2012 and had started researching online but had no time to really do anything until Jan of 2013. We then spent 4.5 months buying the RV, truck, prepping the house, purging stuff, moving sale, online estate sale, prepping the yard, purging more stuff, moving into the 5th wheel after we finally got it home after more delays than we ever imagined, etc. and the house went on the market. 4.5 months? Yep, we were definitely sleep deprived as we were both also working full time during this entire process. Do I regret it? No, but we did need that plan and even when things fell behind schedule, we at least knew everything that needed to be done to get us to the end point. Without a plan and the long list of things to get done I think it would have taken us much longer than 4.5 months to get things done.
One more comment on the entire planning aspect of this, in some ways I think we were really fortunate that we pulled the trigger and got this all done very quickly once we decided to do it. I read about people with the 3 year and 5 year plans and know that for us that would have just resulted in more procrastination
To echo your comments, "I'm a planner." Probably to the extreme, but it's just in my DNA :) However, having owned two RVs in the past, I know you need to develop an aptitude to be "flexible" based on breakdowns, storms, campgrounds openings, etc. I hope to better develop this attribute when I hit the road. My wife has certainly reminded me of this :)
I consider myself lucky. I've always had dogs, but have been without one for the past 21 years of marriage. Living in the city, I didn't want to subject a dog to the confines of an apartment, especially with me working, and my wife being out of the house as much as she is. But last year she coerced me into getting a cat, and I've never considered myself to be a cat person. In fact, I have allergies that cats normally trigger or exacerbate. But she talked me into this little 9 pound hairless Egyptian Sphinx, and I've never been happier with an animal in my life. Kuphu is extremely intelligent, well behaved, and travels like a champ; perfectly at home in cars, hotels, and in any and all new surroundings. A born nomad. He even makes friends with dogs, whenever they're present, and don't appear overeager to eat him.
So I don't foresee taking him along to be a problem, two years from now when we finally hit the road.
Someone had mentioned Keit3h in an earlier post. For some reason, I can't find that post.
For the person that did mention him:
Keit3h was my brother. He was such an incredible, talented, creative person.
Please contact me. I would love to hear more of your memories of him. My email is lizcnehring@gmail.com
Thank you
Liz Childs
-- Edited by lizardchilds on Monday 20th of July 2015 08:06:38 PM
So,
this original post is a year and a half old, and it would be interesting to hear what Trace thinks now!
Do you still plan? Have you decided to go with the flow more? is it stressful if you DON'T plan?
Not Planning is hard for me but I have adjusted to the point that now PLANNING can be stressful.
Sue, we aren't on the road yet, and at first we considered the planning portion, but that is more Cindi's bag than mine. We have other details going on at this time so even she is not doing much "planning". I enjoy the research phase but hate planning. That is too much like work for me. I like going with the flow. My only plan is to hold funds in reserve for the unplanned stuff that inevitably will happen and then act quickly to put out whatever fire is burning. Such "in the moment" decisions are usually right and have the benefit of not letting you second guess yourself. Some will be vulnerable to buyers remorse but a little "it is, what it is" mentality will quickly fix that. Having the reserve funds has it's own peace of mind quality that cannot be overstressed. Secondly, more planning, to me, means less spontaneity... the spice of life.
FWIW, Brian
Brian,
I'm hoping to get to that spontaneity point you're referring to. When I first got on this forum back in April 2014, I was reading about folks going with the flow. We made the decision back in May of last year and something got the better of me. I ended up planning everything from when we take off in a little less than 2 weeks through the end of March of 2016. I know, that's pretty bad. Even the DW was giving me grief about "what happened to the 'go with the flow' thing".
Well, I hope to shed that. Not going to make any plans with the exception of when we need to be back in Colorado about the July/Aug time frame. If I want to do State Parks in CO, that's darn near impossible without reservations. We'll see if I can 'cut the cord'.
Anticipating happy trails.
Hey Soos sorry it took me so long to get back to you. Been swamped with my daughters wedding and moving. My answer is heavens yes. I plan more than I ever did when I started this. It's nice to look back and see I wasn't completely clueless :) So why is planning more important than I even I thought it would be?
1. Working on the road in particular coordinating travel days and airplane travel requires careful planning. When I book a work trip a month in advance I need to know where I will be or it costs my company money in airfare changes.
2. Campgrounds in season and in popular places require advance booking. Yes we all like to think you can wander around aimlessly and "happen" across great campsites, and certainly sometimes you can, but if you want to be in a popular place and in season book ahead.
3. Hanging out with friends requires coordination. Yes there is travel serendipity which I love but if you want to make a point to hang out with your friends some advance planning is probably required.
4. Lastly I just feel better. That may change over time, but for now both Lee and I like having a rough idea of where we will be and when. This does not make us inflexible rather that's our comfort zone and I own that.
Thanks for diggin that up...fun to reanswer the question and as always this is my reality and not necessarily yours. Remember there is no one true way to Full Time!!
Trace