I agree Hina, that is weird. Why would somebody being single matter to whom you park next to you? Hopefully, that guy was the exception. From all the friendly people I've seen on here and on other forums, I think you'll find a different breed once you get to the rv parks and campgrounds. Glad all is well for you after that horrendous accident. Happy Trails!
-- Edited by Mike and Myong on Saturday 18th of May 2013 09:21:14 PM
Hina said
11:49 PM May 18, 2013
Yesterday, I drove my new (to me) Class A to Bed, Bath and Beyond for some organizing stuff; a Rexhall Class A came into the lot, and parked right next to me. The older gentleman driving it started a conversation about RVs. Then something dawns on him, and he asks, "Where's your family? Is it just you?" When I answered yes, he abruptly left. This guy was old enough to be my father, mentioned he was married, used the RV to visit family, and everything was just totally not real personal, soo... ?
I have also gotten reactions at campgrounds, like, it is somehow totally suspicious and inappropriate for a woman to be living and traveling alone. I can't really help it I never had children and I don't have an extended family, it's not my fault, nothing I did, so, what's the deal? Can any married/family type people enlighten me as to what this pariah reaction is?
Jim01 said
12:47 AM May 19, 2013
No pariah reaction here. All winter long, we were parked close to 2 different single women. Can't say I saw any problems at any time. Everyone seemed very friendly towards them.
Sorry you've had that experience. I think that if you get out on the road and away from tourist areas or big cities, you'll find a different attitude.
Also some people are just jerks!! Don't let them bother you.
Jim
Hina said
02:04 AM May 19, 2013
Maybe when I get out of California, land of "fruits and nuts". Could be, "normal" people quick sifting through "nuts". I have a background in hands on psychology, and looking around, there are LOTS of NUTS.
"Do you you rent, or own?" "Do you have a degree?" "What does your husband do?" If you can't come up with satisfactory answers, perhaps you are just tagged "nut".
I have this plan, where I quick size people up, and if it's not likely that I will ever see them again, I just make up answers like, "I'm on my way to pick up my husband, he's been overseas making business deals, and we're taking an extended vacation.... The kids are away at college, studying in Europe. Me? I have a Ph.D. from Stanford in psychology, but I'm taking a leave of absence. " But I always forget this plan, and be myself, which, apparently, puts me in a "pariah" category.
Lucky Mike said
04:12 AM May 19, 2013
one should always be themselves..... It is I ,I am me and its all I will ever need to be!!!!!
what you think of me is just an opinion....what I think of me is how I become who I am , I am not to be molded to your liking , no matter what I will always be me..get to know me...and learn from me on how I came to be...then we will become friends..because....I love Me!!!!!!
Terry and Jo said
04:42 AM May 19, 2013
Hina,
I think you will see a totally different mentality once you leave California.
I was in our car dealer's service waiting room about a year ago and struck up a conversation with a gentleman that was there. He had returned to Oklahoma from California and told us that he was planning on going back to California and move his family back to Oklahoma.
He told me that one of the common questions he got while in California was, "How much do you make." It was almost like the questioner was asking so as to know whether to associate with him any further. One of his daughters was with him and said that social interactions in Oklahoma were a whole lot nicer and less intrusive than those she had experienced in California.
While I might eventually travel to California to see the natural beauty, I have no intentions of staying there for very long.
Back in the late '60's, I was stationed in Northern California near Petaluma. Jo and I lived off-base and because I "robbed the cradle," she still had some high school to finish. She walked the 6 or 7 blocks to school every day. She regularly saw an older gentleman in his front yard and she would say, "Hi." Finally, after about a month of strange looks from the guy, he finally stopped her and asked if he could ask her a question. She said, "Yes," so he asked where she was from. When she told him Oklahoma, his eyes lit up and he said, "I knew it had to be close to there. I've been in California and have never seen a stranger be so friendly." After that, he always made it a point to speak to her when she passed.
Terry
Hina said
05:29 AM May 19, 2013
Yup, Terry, people gotta find out whether you are "worth knowing" I guess. It's not only the land of fruits and nuts, but of "haves and have nots". I am definitely not a nut, but I am not quite a "have", so I guess I fall through the cracks around here. P.S. I'm just up the road in Santa Rosa.
One of the intrusive questions I have gotten a lot from other women, which I find really offensive is, "It's so expensive to live here... why don't you just go out and get some guy to pay your bills... tee hee hee" Umm, because I'm not a gold digger? Because, I have self reliance and self worth and self respect?
MarkS said
05:49 AM May 19, 2013
I get how people create a foregone conclusion about California. Before we moved here I had an opinion. It was based on the freaks of LA and the Geeks of San Jose. But there is a lot more to California than either of those cities. For example, I live in the land of fruits and nuts, really! I am surrounded by orchards of nuts and stone fruit and vineyards of table grapes and raisins, not to mention the citrus. This area is agriculture. Conservative to a fault and hard working. Not a single flake as far as you can see. Friendly and not a bit stereotypical California.
Don't avoid the state because of some opinion formed by what you think the state is. It's really a pretty nice place as long as you steer clear of the big cities. Not to take away from Texas but Los Angeles is really like a whole other country. Up here by Fresno is kind of like Iowa. Visitors are treated well here. It's the citizens that get the shaft.
Hina said
06:17 AM May 19, 2013
I was in Sebastopol for a while, people there are nice, old school hippies, peace and love. Lot's of organic vinyards and orchards, good food and music. Where I am in Santa Rosa right now, which is a smallish suburban place, it's the used car lot neighborhood with the street walkers (so I can't take a walk without being asked "do you need a ride") and the meth-heads (lot's of mental "death metal dudes" riding bicycles)
A lot of California (and New York, Chicago, any expensive place) is "have and have not" and it's unfortunate, but a lot of sane, working people don't have many options but to live in the "have not" neighborhoods, and be so "judged". Oh well, I'm hoping with a mobile house, I can leave that in the dust!
Roz said
06:18 AM May 19, 2013
Could be, Hina
. . . is wife may have been in their RV and he knew he would be questioned for speaking to a youing lady, who knows. As Mike said quite well, be yourself.
Terry and Jo said
06:57 AM May 19, 2013
Roz wrote:
Could be, Hina
. . . is wife may have been in their RV and he knew he would be questioned for speaking to a youing lady, who knows. As Mike said quite well, be yourself.
Yeah, this one rings a bell. Jo and I were towing our fifth wheel to a local dealer for some repairs. She was sitting in the back seat with our two MinPins because we would be out for several hours and had no other place for them to be. Since we were a bit early for the dealership to open, I pulled into a nearby truck stop to park and wait.
I no sooner got the rig stopped in the parking lot and this young lady walked up to the passenger door. I only lowered the window enough to talk to her, but it was enough for her to stick her arm in and attempt to introduce herself. She didn't see Jo until Jo leaned forward over the center console.
That young lady said, "Oh," and disappeared in a hurry. Jo and I were laughing so hard that the pimp walking the parking lot stopped and stared through the windshield to see what the heck we were laughing about.
The whole "affair" happened so fast and we laughed so hard, I forgot about calling the cops about the "prostitution" attempt.
Of course, keep in mind that I am nearly 67 years old and nearly 60 pounds overweight. Hardly a prime catch for "such a young lady."
Terry
PIEERE said
09:17 AM May 19, 2013
Popeye the Sailor said it best: I y'am what I y'am and that is all I ever will be!! I try my best to be friendly no matter how I feel. Yhat's the best thing about wheels; if we don't like the neighbors or the scenery we can move on. Jane: Once you find your niche; some peace and quiet, and some like minded people it will make the difference.
-- Edited by PIEERE on Sunday 19th of May 2013 09:18:20 AM
Ckerr said
07:40 PM May 19, 2013
Being single in the RV world myself I understand where you are coming from. However, it's not all that different from my experience being single with a stix and brix home. Some folks won't ever understand that if your life doesn't look just like theirs there must be something wrong with you.
For me, it wasn't the plan to be 52, single with no kids. Just worked out that way. Oddly women seem to be more accepting of the fact that I'm single than the fact that I never had children.
All that being said, it's not the norm anywhere I've been. Sometimes I get a bit defensive about being the "odd girl out," but then I pull up my big girl panties and enjoy time with the people I meet. I find the more I'm myself and open to others the more accepted I am.
Also, it's a bit easier to make friends when you are someplace for more than a week than when you are moving from place to place.
Besides -- you have all of us just waiting to meet you and visit on the road!
Hina said
10:52 PM May 19, 2013
I think you are right Carol, about the "more accepting of the fact that I'm single than the fact that I never had children". Have you ever noticed, if you ask women about themselves, they will often tell you about their kids? I remember a job where we had to suffer through "meetings" where we would go around in a circle, and "tell us a little about yourself, and what's new in your life"? It seemed like I was the only one who ever told anything about myself, because everyone else would launch into the dramas with their kids! So are women like us spinsters, or are we forced into being self aware individualists, since we can't focus our entire identity on other people?
Terry, I'm not such a prime catch myself, 20+ lbs overweight, and 50+ , but I am definitely young in spirit, and do look healthier than most "professional girls" since I don't do drugs, or have a hardened attitude!
Dog Folks said
12:38 AM May 20, 2013
Hina wrote:
Yesterday, I drove my new (to me) Class A to Bed, Bath and Beyond for some organizing stuff; a Rexhall Class A came into the lot, and parked right next to me. The older gentleman driving it started a conversation about RVs. Then something dawns on him, and he asks, "Where's your family? Is it just you?" When I answered yes, he abruptly left. This guy was old enough to be my father, mentioned he was married, used the RV to visit family, and everything was just totally not real personal, soo... ?
I have also gotten reactions at campgrounds, like, it is somehow totally suspicious and inappropriate for a woman to be living and traveling alone. I can't really help it I never had children and I don't have an extended family, it's not my fault, nothing Idid, so, what's the deal? Can any married/family type people enlighten me as to what this pariah reaction is?
Me thinks you are letting a small number of unpleasant encounters color your thinking about the millions of people that RV.The folks that have judged you are in a VERY SMALL minority. They are not worth your time or thoughts.
SnowGypsy said
12:48 AM May 25, 2013
That particular man you encountered probably had a history of "skirt-chasing" especially in his younger days and may have been "on notice" for doing it. We lived in a couple different RV parks long term in two different states, AL & AZ and both saw totally different types of people coming through and staying for a time. We had one single woman come and probably the biggest issue was that she was always trying to borrow someone's husband to do something for her and I have no issue with showing someone how to do something or helping someone do something but not doing it for them especially when I was the one that did the very same thing at our unit. She wasn't so popular with the wives there. We saw a lot of single women and men come through the park in AL and they were very capable of taking care of themselves and no one had any issue and we all visited about travel, you know, places we have been. If you told me you didn't have kids, I would think "Boy is she lucky!" You'll meet a lot of different kinds of people and many will judge you but if you're like me, I truly don't care what they think about me or what I do and I assure you, there is nothing better than embracing that. Take me as I am or move along!
WestWardHo said
01:51 AM May 25, 2013
I'm with Jane (Hina) (having been single for 20+|- I don't remember how many years- my choice) until I connected w/Jesse. Single women are treated differently in our culture no matter where you live and no matter whether you own a home or not. It's just a fact that I'm sure you learned, Jane, to be very circumspect around couples as many men mis-interpret friendliness and many women are just plain insecure in their relationships. You learn to be friendly but not your normal mischievous self, you focus on the wife,you don't kid much, etc. However, many others in CA or not are secure couples who welcome you into a group whether you're single or not. Don't let one old crank set you up for others, but knowing you thru this forum, I'm sure you won't.
Sherry
Hina said
04:31 PM May 25, 2013
I'm not really all that upset with that one guy, but that incident got me thinking... good insights, Westward Ho and Gypsy.
Yes, unless I want to unintentionally stir up trouble, I have to "monitor" my friendly, somewhat mischevious nature, my sense of humor and ever inquiring mind. Unlike the single woman mentioned by Gypsy who was always borrowing a husband, I am quite capable, and that, ironically, can draw attention... I'm still a bit of a tomboy and a mad scientist, and that attracts men, and makes other women jealous, because men can talk to me about stuff their wives often blow off. And since I don't have children, it seems I don't have much in common with many women, because that's all many women can talk about, as if their entire identity is tied up in their kids. (No offense intended, just an observation as a childless female).
Jack Mayer said
02:23 AM May 26, 2013
Well, Jane, feel free to come on over here and let your mischievous nature run wild..... ;)
Plus, it is nice and cool here at 8500'
WestWardHo said
02:49 PM May 26, 2013
Jack, laughing out loud!!!!
Sherry
Hina said
03:52 PM May 26, 2013
Well, first, I need to get my steering fixed. 8500'? I wouldn't be doning much running wild, might get asthma!
snakeye said
09:33 PM May 28, 2013
I am thinking about going Full Time I have never Rv'ed or civilian camped before. but with the limited income from disability it seems the only wise choice. I am single with Adult kids and a brother and sister out in Cal I figure i can winter down their and summer up in Wis way. I spent most of my working life in the entertainment field by that I meen restaurants i have done every conceivable job in that industry. And now it has taken it's toll on me so I am going to enjoy what time the lord has left of me and see what this land has to offer.
Ckerr said
08:15 AM Jun 15, 2013
Heard we are short a workkamper for the winter season and we're good with singles. 25 hours per week. PM me if you would like more info.
(Lesson learned -- don't type without the glasses... lol)
-- Edited by Ckerr on Saturday 15th of June 2013 10:09:00 AM
Walter323 said
03:06 PM Jun 15, 2013
Well still working on my plan to one day get a class RV and hit the road, I could really care less of what other think of me or my choices. Yes I am going to be Solo, last febuary my best friend and a great wife Niki lost her fight with malignant ovarain cancer, we had oftenselling everything and hitting the road talked about of selling everything and hitting the road, but her health declined fast. I am going to get back to planing the adventure . If asked wre I got my degree simple at the South Carolina Fire Academy , thats right while other were hamming it up a college , I was learning how to save people , after working in the field , I have retired after 23 years , I think I have earned the journey, my wife Niki is with me in spirit . if they cant handle that tuff , ya cant please everbody , and Pop Eye said it best " I AM WHATS I AM AND THAT`S ALLS THAT I AMS !!!!!"
Jack Mayer said
04:00 PM Jun 15, 2013
Ckerr wrote:
Heard we are short a work amped for the winter season and we're good with singles. 25 hours per week. PM me if you would like more info.
Well, you won't find a nicer place to stay than Bentsen Palm. I know nothing of the work environment, but the park is one of the best in TX.
Hina said
12:16 AM Jun 16, 2013
Hey Walter, welcome! It's just a little different being a woman, and alone; people, especially men, have this odd reaction, which can be a little disconcerting. I'm glad I now have a dog that knows how to bark.
FLCoastalChick said
05:10 PM Jun 16, 2013
I can relate to you Hina... as a single woman, men automatically sum up a woman in a matter of seconds. (even though I have a b/f...we work different shifts so I am alone the majority of the time). After work I would stop into a pub for a drink...since no ring, I must be there to pick up a man (NOT). Before getting back into hairdressing, I worked at a factory on machines...I must be butch (NOT). I went into home depot to pick up a couple of parts to fix my toilet, the associate looked at me and stated: are you confused mam? (in my thoughts I wanted to vent on him: no idiot I am debating on bronze or brushed nickel...lets start a toilet fix it compitition...100.00 says I confuse you and fix it first) ...does that make me a bad person for thinking that? lol
Now as I am considering getting rid of my 1500.00 a mo apt and move into a 5er so I can work in FL during season and then during the summer go to the smokies and work there... I am sure I will be facing what you are going through now.
I did a test though...I put on my old engagement ring and went to the same pub for a drink. I got treated with more respect. It no longer was: hey good lookin' can I buy you a drink? Hey sweetie what have you been up to? It was: Hi Kim, how have you been? Havent seen you here in awhile. How is your new job going? Can you fit me in for a haircut this week?
FLCoastalChick said
05:36 PM Jun 16, 2013
I forgot to add though, I am not to proud to ask for help when I need help and when I cant do something I do watch them fix it so if it happens again...I can try it myself... or call in a knight in shining armour.
Terry and Jo said
09:00 PM Jun 16, 2013
FLCoastalChick wrote:
I forgot to add though, I am not to proud to ask for help when I need help and when I cant do something I do watch them fix it so if it happens again...I can try it myself... or call in a knight in shining armour.
I guess I'll have to call you "Florida" or "Flo" as you don't have a name in your profile or in your signature.
Just keep in mind that when you call the "knight in shining armor," the armor on some of us might be old and rusty. We older guys may still have the will to help out, but sometimes the ability is lacking.
Terry
Hina said
05:11 PM Jun 17, 2013
Yes, maybe wearing a ring that looks like a wedding ring will help fend off some of it. I've heard of other women also putting a big pair of men's muddy boots outside the door. I have this loosely laid plan, that if I am somewhere where I won't be long, and doesn't look like I'll be meeting anyone worth my while, I'll say, I'm driving this RV alone, with the dog, to go pick up my husband, who's in the military and just came back.
Just yesterday, a new guy who is parked here was teasing my dog through the window, making him bark, then he had the nerve to try and chat me up. Oh, he was just kidding around with the dog.... And of course, aren't we obligated to "be nice" to our neighbors, especially when everyone else thinks they're a great guy, because they all drink beer together? If not, you'll be labeled a "B" word, who thinks she's too good! Yes, and the conversation ended with him inviting me to drink beer with him. He's pretty obviously an alcoholic. Not. Yeah, I am too good.
MarkS said
06:39 PM Jun 17, 2013
Husband who is a special forces sniper with horrible anger management issues with strangers. ;)
Maybe I'm naive or just plain stupid... but I don't get why anyone would treat a single woman or man in an RV any different than anyone else. Personally, I am color blind, could care less about your sex or sexual preference, religion, handicap, looks, or hobby. If I don't like you for, whatever reason, I will still be an offer of help when you need it. Just because you have no class or manners, doesn't make you a bad person. It just makes you who you are.
Lucky Mike said
07:04 PM Jun 17, 2013
If you go in with a reason to find separation in anything......you will find it!!!!!.
look for the bad in anything and you can find it a thousand different categories....... look for the good in the same and the best is starring you back in the Eye!!!!!
always look for the good , walk it ,think it and it will encircle you no matter where you go!!!!!
Remember passing judgement at a round table will always return with a double serving for yourself!!!!
Hina said
07:11 PM Jun 17, 2013
OK Mike, let's let it all hang out! I like watching people too, but I have also been trained to see some things others don't. Oh, BTW, my "cowardly dog" has turned into a real watch dog, in fact, a little too real! My video titled "My Xolo is a Vicious Watch Dog" He's a "primitive breed" sorta like having a naked coyote (Chupacabra) he's the type to skulk around a campfire, get into the garbage cans, be hyper alert, run, run, run, and protect the pack turf. Number 1 job with him is socializing. He will bark at some people, and not want to stop, maybe even go after; and, it seems like the people he really dislikes do likely have "something wrong". For instance, today we were driving, and he went nuts at the guy in the next car. I looked, and could tell this guy was probably on meth. That's good, but we just don't want him barking like a maniac or attacking anyone in public.
-- Edited by Hina on Monday 17th of June 2013 07:14:40 PM
Hina said
12:53 AM Jun 18, 2013
Mike and Mark, you two are nice guys. I don't get it either. But some guys, when they think no one is looking, act very differently. A woman walks down the street with her husband or boyfriend, nothing happens. She walks down the street by herself, and she's liable to get guys slowing up behind her, asking if "she needs a ride". Mike, I don't want to pass premature judgement, but I can't afford to be a Pollyanna either. Women who are too friendly or too open, or who ignore the red flags make themselves targets, for at best, creeps who simply take advantage, or possibly the worst. I did work for 20 years in psychology and social services, including jail psychiatric services, and have seen first hand the faces some people hide. As a woman, you need to be double and triple careful, because they're out there, and we gals are the #1 target. Not me projecting negativity, just a fact of life. Those 3 girls who spent 10 years locked up in that house in Ohio got into the car willingly, because they thought he was a nice guy just offering a ride.
Lucky Mike said
01:33 AM Jun 18, 2013
Jane .....if we ever meet I dont want you on your best behavior.....I want to know my friends for who they are ....I find the one good interesting attraction that builds the friendship and use that for the foundation....
every person has their flaws ....some make me laugh because their indignant and cant see it in themselves......others because their naive and never experienced it .....and then there is always the prankster...you have to keep your guard up but they keep it interesting.......the idiot that never learns....you get to teach that one..........then there are the ones who you wish would never leave and become that family you always wanted!!!
and of course the best one's are observed from a park bench in their own environment............I am a people watcher!!......they are more fun to watch than 2 squirrels fitting over an acorn!!!
Lucky Mike said
02:50 AM Jun 18, 2013
its the nice part of being in the RV........I wonder in nature...just me and the earth....no more dealing with the rat race ,.....I live , breathe & relax..
Ive gotten to experience people at their best....saw things happen at there worst.....sat as someone spoke their last words and asked me to carry them on......delivered 9 children into this world.......and dispatched 3 men to their judgement
been given my last rites twice....and spent 6 hours without a heart living and breathing from a machine while they scrambled to keep me alive. only to tell me afterwords that they handed me a fatal virus in the process.
Ive learned that life is short .....I have no time for worrying about possibilities, it does nothing but steal from the moment and each moment has become precious to me.
when I learned this.... life changed , I learned how to count the petals on a flower....find the beauty in a box of sand...Listen to the spirits in the wind......never time a sunrise and sit and enjoy the days end.....................live , breathe and relax .....life is a gift and I let no one Leave a bad footprint in it anymore
We all make the choices who and what we interact with and which roads we venture down.....its a shame that we dont take the time as we hurry just to stop and see the beauty in each step but prefer to rush thru life and collect all that we cant take with us!!
WestWardHo said
04:02 PM Jun 18, 2013
Mike, we can all learn from you!! Loved how you wrote that and all you expressed!
Sherry
PIEERE said
05:12 PM Jun 18, 2013
LM: I don't believe I could have said it any better!! I understand about the take a deep breath and relax; as to when I try to step up the pace; my shortness of breath kicks in. Hope that PET scan this Thursday verifies the Ischemia and they can repair some of the damaged heart muscle. I will have to wait patiently for the result on July 12TH from the cardio Dr. unless they find I need attention sooner.
I had friended someone in the park who had been bringing me to the VA; asked him a few times if it conflicted with his (sedentry) lifestyle. He said not a problem but as time went on I was asked to do chores like defrost the rv refridge; help clean up his yard, charge the AC system on his truck, reseal his camper Roof; I did these and various other chores; no qualm even though it was on his time.
The other day I had told him no as it was hot and humid out and he wanted his camper washed, he seemed taken aback but said OK. later that day I went on a walk with him and the dogs; we sat around for an hour or so talking and he asked me to go to the store and go in for him and get a few items. I said it was getting late and it was past dinner time and I was hungry. Said I would be over in about 30 mins after i grab a quick bite. About 15 minutes later he came over and said; "You have to find your own way from now on." End of friendship. I said; You told me it did not bother you to take me before and I even bought gas; so I believe you could not accept being told No.
I have found other means to get rides to the store and the owner of this park is taking me to the VA Hospital where i will sign up for the volunteers who provide rides to the Veterans for Appointments. Well there is my rant. Problem got solved.
Don't enjoy losing friendships but I believe they are a two-way street.
FLCoastalChick said
05:45 PM Jun 19, 2013
Pierre: I am so glad that you have found other means of transportation to and from your visits to the docs office, along with the grocery store and picking up a few things here and there. I grew up in a small town of 5000. I am a social butterfly (so everyone tells me... I talk to everybody, I trust everybody which may end up being my downfall), but some ppl are ignorant these days. If it doesnt benefit them, they want no part of it. I am a hairdresser and I go to a few ladies house and "set" their hair then comb it out. I dont charge them, but they know that I will be in town on a Sat and keep their same time weekly. If they want it done on a specific day I will charge them. They have also called me and asked if I would pick them up this or that from the store. I do that willingly... that is how I was brought up. This person has to stand in front of a person one day and plead his case on what he did and how he treated you. I pray that you come out with all aces in your hand with your health and the doctors!!!
Lucky Mike: I love your analogy of the 2 squirrels as I am a people watcher also. You are truly an inspiration of survival and fighting. My father was the first 5 way bi pass in the US. He actually had his heart attack out in Las Vegas at the Stardust... they refused to send an ambulance to the back so he had to walk through the casino having a heart attack, jumped started his heart 8 times to keep him alive. There was a lady out there at Sunrise Hospital at the time that was pulling plugs on people. They called her the death angel... she was in my fathers ICU room. She spared his life and I had 20 more years with him.
Lucky Mike said
06:21 PM Jun 19, 2013
Simple solution to kindness in life......if you can , always pay it forward ... if you cant always pay it back!!!!!
I meet my elders constantly , something would be wrong or help was needed and I always jump in.....when I,m done they are always trying to pay me and I always tell them.
No one can pass thru this life without holding there hand out to help another ,just the feeling of doing it makes it worthwhile.....the meanest ....grumpiest ....indignant person has helped someone out in life.......so believing that all things travel full circle in life I am obligated to give you my best Because someone has also been there for me!!!!
Even as my heart slows its pace in life......the feeling of giving from the heart calms and keeps it beating!!!!
PIEERE said
10:36 PM Jun 19, 2013
LM: and that is actually what I was trying to do; but when it comes to a point where someone that I was trying to help turns it into an expectation that I have to do it and it is to be done on their time and demand. I draw the line and if they can not accept a no; not at his time because of the heat and humidity; then gets mad at me. That is their problem. I don't mind giving but it is also not right for someone to take advantage of someones kindness.
WestWardHo said
12:59 AM Jun 20, 2013
Pieere,
So sorry this happened with your "friend"! I was mad when I read what happened because of your health and what you've been thru but still you cleaned his roof and did so much more. That he expected "payment" is just plain sad. Don't let the B-word get you down. Great for you about drawing that line. No one can take advantage without our permission. Someone smart said that! 😄
Just keep smiling and going forward.
Sherry
PIEERE said
06:50 PM Jul 5, 2013
It's seems like some dogs have that sense of when someone is up to no-good!!!! Or is he a lady's dog!!!
-- Edited by PIEERE on Friday 5th of July 2013 06:52:08 PM
DawnsTinyHouse said
11:37 PM Jul 5, 2013
It is good to know I won't be the only single woman out there. I joined this forum only a week ago and I am just thrilled at the quality of people who have chosen this life. Living their dream while living their lives is awesome!
I don't know what the guy's problem was - but don't make it YOUR problem.
As for the intrusive questions, my mother raised me to answer "Why do you ask?" to put the shoe on the other foot. This usually works.
It isn't my fault I never found my guy, either. I wasn't blessed with children of my own, but I have 22 nieces and nephews from my six siblings and their husbands and wives. My family is my heart and soul. I want to be able to work full time, as well as pick up and travel to visit with them wherever they are. I want to travel this wonderful country and live my life. I just survived a nearly two year battle with breast cancer. I have learned my lesson. The lesson is: If you want to do it, do it now! If you have a dream, make it happen! And be thankful from everyone who crosses your path...even the nuts and seriously rude. I am reminded that I am glad I am Me and not THEM!
I am a year away from making my debut on the road. I have a lot to learn (and medical debts to pay off) first, and I know that this forum is a great place to launch my efforts!
Dawn
DawnsTinyHouse said
11:49 PM Jul 5, 2013
Cathy,
I am so glad you brought up the single women who travel and ask for help. This is my Reason #2 for not heading out on the road today. (Reason #1 is lack of funds, of course!)
I am spending the next year taking classes: "Powder Puff" mechanics, Construction, home repair and other classes on use of tools at the Home Depot, Dog Training and more. Why Dog Training you ask? Well, I have never had a dog, and I think traveling with a Service Dog/Companion would be great. But it really sickens me when people get pets then discover how much trouble they are and discard them like last month's meatloaf you found at the back of the fridge! Pets are a responsibility like any other living being, and I want to be a good companion to the dog, too.
Being alone doesn't have to be lonely and doing anything solo means you have to ready for all aspects of your endeavor, because you have no one to lean on except yourself, your experience, your attitude and, for me at least, God.
Dawn
DawnsTinyHouse said
12:00 AM Jul 6, 2013
Snakeye,
Congratulations on channeling your energy into going out into the world instead of burrowing into a little cave!
Since December of 2011, I have lived on a borrowed bed in my mom's living room in her Senior Apartment Complex while I underwent treatments for breast cancer. I am not a senior citizen, so I stick out like a sore thumb. I love the ladies and gentlemen here, but I have noticed the residents have a natural Great Divide among them: About 1/3 of them have gumption and get up and go (love the poker games, ladies!) but the other 2/3s are living on their Social Security and Disability and what little pensions some of them have, and they close themselves up in their apartments and the only time you see them is when they come out to do their laundry, and they sit around and complain to each other about being bored and nobody visiting them.
I gave up my downtown Dallas apartment after my diagnosis (to stay with my mom during treatments) and got rid of a lot of "stuff" I didn't need. I have narrowed down all my earthly possessions to things that can fit in 2 closets and a few tubs of stuff in my mom's small storage unit. I am ready to get this show on the road! It sounds like you are, too!
Dawn
Hina said
12:43 AM Jul 6, 2013
Hi Dawn! Yes, study dog training.... I got my brand new best friend last month, a 9 month old, 30 lb Mexican Hairless, who came with some "issues", the major of which, is aggression towards everyone but me! Who would have thought, that sweet, funny little face? He's coming along, but when we move and settle for a while in a few weeks, he's getting formal training. I'm glad he's got the gumption to protect, that's good for a woman traveling and living alone, but he's got to tone it way down. (Funny, but the guys he hates the most, and wants to kill on sight, set off my "creep alarm" too!)
Soulsearcher said
03:35 AM Jul 10, 2013
Be one of the Proud, the Brave....the Few.....and the Mighty!!! Wear that SOLO shirt with pride, sista!!
Hope to see you on the road!
Carol (a soloist!! )
Soulsearcher said
03:37 AM Jul 10, 2013
Mike,
I once read a book mainly because I loved the title.......it was called ...."WHAT YOU THINK OF ME IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS"........great read!
Carol
Jrowell said
04:14 AM Jul 10, 2013
It is not you. You possibly were talking to my father-in-law. He is nearly 70 and will not stand in a room alone with a single female including my daughters his granddaughters 22 and 24 years old. He is afraid someone could accuse him of doing something inappropriate. No idea why he feels that way but maybe this person has the same condition??
I agree Hina, that is weird. Why would somebody being single matter to whom you park next to you? Hopefully, that guy was the exception. From all the friendly people I've seen on here and on other forums, I think you'll find a different breed once you get to the rv parks and campgrounds. Glad all is well for you after that horrendous accident. Happy Trails!
-- Edited by Mike and Myong on Saturday 18th of May 2013 09:21:14 PM
Yesterday, I drove my new (to me) Class A to Bed, Bath and Beyond for some organizing stuff; a Rexhall Class A came into the lot, and parked right next to me. The older gentleman driving it started a conversation about RVs. Then something dawns on him, and he asks, "Where's your family? Is it just you?" When I answered yes, he abruptly left. This guy was old enough to be my father, mentioned he was married, used the RV to visit family, and everything was just totally not real personal, soo... ?
I have also gotten reactions at campgrounds, like, it is somehow totally suspicious and inappropriate for a woman to be living and traveling alone. I can't really help it I never had children and I don't have an extended family, it's not my fault, nothing I did, so, what's the deal? Can any married/family type people enlighten me as to what this pariah reaction is?
No pariah reaction here. All winter long, we were parked close to 2 different single women. Can't say I saw any problems at any time. Everyone seemed very friendly towards them.
Sorry you've had that experience. I think that if you get out on the road and away from tourist areas or big cities, you'll find a different attitude.
Also some people are just jerks!! Don't let them bother you.
Jim
Maybe when I get out of California, land of "fruits and nuts". Could be, "normal" people quick sifting through "nuts". I have a background in hands on psychology, and looking around, there are LOTS of NUTS.
"Do you you rent, or own?" "Do you have a degree?" "What does your husband do?" If you can't come up with satisfactory answers, perhaps you are just tagged "nut".
I have this plan, where I quick size people up, and if it's not likely that I will ever see them again, I just make up answers like, "I'm on my way to pick up my husband, he's been overseas making business deals, and we're taking an extended vacation.... The kids are away at college, studying in Europe. Me? I have a Ph.D. from Stanford in psychology, but I'm taking a leave of absence. " But I always forget this plan, and be myself, which, apparently, puts me in a "pariah" category.
what you think of me is just an opinion....what I think of me is how I become who I am , I am not to be molded to your liking , no matter what I will always be me..get to know me...and learn from me on how I came to be...then we will become friends..because....I love Me!!!!!!
Hina,
I think you will see a totally different mentality once you leave California.
I was in our car dealer's service waiting room about a year ago and struck up a conversation with a gentleman that was there. He had returned to Oklahoma from California and told us that he was planning on going back to California and move his family back to Oklahoma.
He told me that one of the common questions he got while in California was, "How much do you make." It was almost like the questioner was asking so as to know whether to associate with him any further. One of his daughters was with him and said that social interactions in Oklahoma were a whole lot nicer and less intrusive than those she had experienced in California.
While I might eventually travel to California to see the natural beauty, I have no intentions of staying there for very long.
Back in the late '60's, I was stationed in Northern California near Petaluma. Jo and I lived off-base and because I "robbed the cradle," she still had some high school to finish. She walked the 6 or 7 blocks to school every day. She regularly saw an older gentleman in his front yard and she would say, "Hi." Finally, after about a month of strange looks from the guy, he finally stopped her and asked if he could ask her a question. She said, "Yes," so he asked where she was from. When she told him Oklahoma, his eyes lit up and he said, "I knew it had to be close to there. I've been in California and have never seen a stranger be so friendly." After that, he always made it a point to speak to her when she passed.
Terry
Yup, Terry, people gotta find out whether you are "worth knowing" I guess. It's not only the land of fruits and nuts, but of "haves and have nots". I am definitely not a nut, but I am not quite a "have", so I guess I fall through the cracks around here.
P.S. I'm just up the road in Santa Rosa.
One of the intrusive questions I have gotten a lot from other women, which I find really offensive is, "It's so expensive to live here... why don't you just go out and get some guy to pay your bills... tee hee hee"
Umm, because I'm not a gold digger? Because, I have self reliance and self worth and self respect? 
Don't avoid the state because of some opinion formed by what you think the state is. It's really a pretty nice place as long as you steer clear of the big cities. Not to take away from Texas but Los Angeles is really like a whole other country. Up here by Fresno is kind of like Iowa. Visitors are treated well here. It's the citizens that get the shaft.
A lot of California (and New York, Chicago, any expensive place) is "have and have not" and it's unfortunate, but a lot of sane, working people don't have many options but to live in the "have not" neighborhoods, and be so "judged". Oh well, I'm hoping with a mobile house, I can leave that in the dust!
Could be, Hina
. . . is wife may have been in their RV and he knew he would be questioned for speaking to a youing lady, who knows. As Mike said quite well, be yourself.
Yeah, this one rings a bell. Jo and I were towing our fifth wheel to a local dealer for some repairs. She was sitting in the back seat with our two MinPins because we would be out for several hours and had no other place for them to be. Since we were a bit early for the dealership to open, I pulled into a nearby truck stop to park and wait.
I no sooner got the rig stopped in the parking lot and this young lady walked up to the passenger door. I only lowered the window enough to talk to her, but it was enough for her to stick her arm in and attempt to introduce herself. She didn't see Jo until Jo leaned forward over the center console.
That young lady said, "Oh," and disappeared in a hurry. Jo and I were laughing so hard that the pimp walking the parking lot stopped and stared through the windshield to see what the heck we were laughing about.
The whole "affair" happened so fast and we laughed so hard, I forgot about calling the cops about the "prostitution" attempt.
Of course, keep in mind that I am nearly 67 years old and nearly 60 pounds overweight. Hardly a prime catch for "such a young lady."
Terry
-- Edited by PIEERE on Sunday 19th of May 2013 09:18:20 AM
For me, it wasn't the plan to be 52, single with no kids. Just worked out that way. Oddly women seem to be more accepting of the fact that I'm single than the fact that I never had children.
All that being said, it's not the norm anywhere I've been. Sometimes I get a bit defensive about being the "odd girl out," but then I pull up my big girl panties and enjoy time with the people I meet. I find the more I'm myself and open to others the more accepted I am.
Also, it's a bit easier to make friends when you are someplace for more than a week than when you are moving from place to place.
Besides -- you have all of us just waiting to meet you and visit on the road!
I think you are right Carol, about the "more accepting of the fact that I'm single than the fact that I never had children". Have you ever noticed, if you ask women about themselves, they will often tell you about their kids? I remember a job where we had to suffer through "meetings" where we would go around in a circle, and "tell us a little about yourself, and what's new in your life"? It seemed like I was the only one who ever told anything about myself, because everyone else would launch into the dramas with their kids! So are women like us spinsters, or are we forced into being self aware individualists, since we can't focus our entire identity on other people?
Terry, I'm not such a prime catch myself, 20+ lbs overweight, and 50+ , but I am definitely young in spirit, and do look healthier than most "professional girls" since I don't do drugs, or have a hardened attitude!
Me thinks you are letting a small number of unpleasant encounters color your thinking about the millions of people that RV.The folks that have judged you are in a VERY SMALL minority. They are not worth your time or thoughts.
Sherry
I'm not really all that upset with that one guy, but that incident got me thinking... good insights, Westward Ho and Gypsy.
Yes, unless I want to unintentionally stir up trouble, I have to "monitor" my friendly, somewhat mischevious nature, my sense of humor and ever inquiring mind. Unlike the single woman mentioned by Gypsy who was always borrowing a husband, I am quite capable, and that, ironically, can draw attention... I'm still a bit of a tomboy and a mad scientist, and that attracts men, and makes other women jealous, because men can talk to me about stuff their wives often blow off. And since I don't have children, it seems I don't have much in common with many women, because that's all many women can talk about, as if their entire identity is tied up in their kids. (No offense intended, just an observation as a childless female).
Plus, it is nice and cool here at 8500'
Sherry
Well, first, I need to get my steering fixed. 8500'? I wouldn't be doning much running wild, might get asthma!
Heard we are short a workkamper for the winter season and we're good with singles. 25 hours per week. PM me if you would like more info.
(Lesson learned -- don't type without the glasses... lol)
-- Edited by Ckerr on Saturday 15th of June 2013 10:09:00 AM
Well, you won't find a nicer place to stay than Bentsen Palm. I know nothing of the work environment, but the park is one of the best in TX.
Now as I am considering getting rid of my 1500.00 a mo apt and move into a 5er so I can work in FL during season and then during the summer go to the smokies and work there... I am sure I will be facing what you are going through now.
I did a test though...I put on my old engagement ring and went to the same pub for a drink. I got treated with more respect. It no longer was: hey good lookin' can I buy you a drink? Hey sweetie what have you been up to? It was: Hi Kim, how have you been? Havent seen you here in awhile. How is your new job going? Can you fit me in for a haircut this week?
I guess I'll have to call you "Florida" or "Flo" as you don't have a name in your profile or in your signature.
Just keep in mind that when you call the "knight in shining armor," the armor on some of us might be old and rusty. We older guys may still have the will to help out, but sometimes the ability is lacking.
Terry
Yes, maybe wearing a ring that looks like a wedding ring will help fend off some of it. I've heard of other women also putting a big pair of men's muddy boots outside the door. I have this loosely laid plan, that if I am somewhere where I won't be long, and doesn't look like I'll be meeting anyone worth my while, I'll say, I'm driving this RV alone, with the dog, to go pick up my husband, who's in the military and just came back.
Just yesterday, a new guy who is parked here was teasing my dog through the window, making him bark, then he had the nerve to try and chat me up. Oh, he was just kidding around with the dog.... And of course, aren't we obligated to "be nice" to our neighbors, especially when everyone else thinks they're a great guy, because they all drink beer together? If not, you'll be labeled a "B" word, who thinks she's too good! Yes, and the conversation ended with him inviting me to drink beer with him. He's pretty obviously an alcoholic. Not. Yeah, I am too good.
Maybe I'm naive or just plain stupid... but I don't get why anyone would treat a single woman or man in an RV any different than anyone else. Personally, I am color blind, could care less about your sex or sexual preference, religion, handicap, looks, or hobby. If I don't like you for, whatever reason, I will still be an offer of help when you need it. Just because you have no class or manners, doesn't make you a bad person. It just makes you who you are.
look for the bad in anything and you can find it a thousand different categories....... look for the good in the same and the best is starring you back in the Eye!!!!!
always look for the good , walk it ,think it and it will encircle you no matter where you go!!!!!
Remember passing judgement at a round table will always return with a double serving for yourself!!!!
OK Mike, let's let it all hang out! I like watching people too, but I have also been trained to see some things others don't. Oh, BTW, my "cowardly dog" has turned into a real watch dog, in fact, a little too real! My video titled "My Xolo is a Vicious Watch Dog" He's a "primitive breed" sorta like having a naked coyote (Chupacabra) he's the type to skulk around a campfire, get into the garbage cans, be hyper alert, run, run, run, and protect the pack turf. Number 1 job with him is socializing. He will bark at some people, and not want to stop, maybe even go after; and, it seems like the people he really dislikes do likely have "something wrong". For instance, today we were driving, and he went nuts at the guy in the next car. I looked, and could tell this guy was probably on meth. That's good, but we just don't want him barking like a maniac or attacking anyone in public.
-- Edited by Hina on Monday 17th of June 2013 07:14:40 PM
every person has their flaws ....some make me laugh because their indignant and cant see it in themselves......others because their naive and never experienced it .....and then there is always the prankster...you have to keep your guard up but they keep it interesting.......the idiot that never learns....you get to teach that one..........then there are the ones who you wish would never leave and become that family you always wanted!!!
and of course the best one's are observed from a park bench in their own environment............I am a people watcher!!......they are more fun to watch than 2 squirrels fitting over an acorn!!!
Ive gotten to experience people at their best....saw things happen at there worst.....sat as someone spoke their last words and asked me to carry them on......delivered 9 children into this world.......and dispatched 3 men to their judgement
been given my last rites twice....and spent 6 hours without a heart living and breathing from a machine while they scrambled to keep me alive. only to tell me afterwords that they handed me a fatal virus in the process.
Ive learned that life is short .....I have no time for worrying about possibilities, it does nothing but steal from the moment and each moment has become precious to me.
when I learned this.... life changed , I learned how to count the petals on a flower....find the beauty in a box of sand...Listen to the spirits in the wind......never time a sunrise and sit and enjoy the days end.....................live , breathe and relax .....life is a gift and I let no one Leave a bad footprint in it anymore
We all make the choices who and what we interact with and which roads we venture down.....its a shame that we dont take the time as we hurry just to stop and see the beauty in each step but prefer to rush thru life and collect all that we cant take with us!!
Sherry
I had friended someone in the park who had been bringing me to the VA; asked him a few times if it conflicted with his (sedentry) lifestyle. He said not a problem but as time went on I was asked to do chores like defrost the rv refridge; help clean up his yard, charge the AC system on his truck, reseal his camper Roof; I did these and various other chores; no qualm even though it was on his time.
The other day I had told him no as it was hot and humid out and he wanted his camper washed, he seemed taken aback but said OK. later that day I went on a walk with him and the dogs; we sat around for an hour or so talking and he asked me to go to the store and go in for him and get a few items. I said it was getting late and it was past dinner time and I was hungry. Said I would be over in about 30 mins after i grab a quick bite. About 15 minutes later he came over and said; "You have to find your own way from now on." End of friendship. I said; You told me it did not bother you to take me before and I even bought gas; so I believe you could not accept being told No.
I have found other means to get rides to the store and the owner of this park is taking me to the VA Hospital where i will sign up for the volunteers who provide rides to the Veterans for Appointments. Well there is my rant. Problem got solved.
Don't enjoy losing friendships but I believe they are a two-way street.
Lucky Mike: I love your analogy of the 2 squirrels as I am a people watcher also. You are truly an inspiration of survival and fighting. My father was the first 5 way bi pass in the US. He actually had his heart attack out in Las Vegas at the Stardust... they refused to send an ambulance to the back so he had to walk through the casino having a heart attack, jumped started his heart 8 times to keep him alive. There was a lady out there at Sunrise Hospital at the time that was pulling plugs on people. They called her the death angel... she was in my fathers ICU room. She spared his life and I had 20 more years with him.
I meet my elders constantly , something would be wrong or help was needed and I always jump in.....when I,m done they are always trying to pay me and I always tell them.
No one can pass thru this life without holding there hand out to help another ,just the feeling of doing it makes it worthwhile.....the meanest ....grumpiest ....indignant person has helped someone out in life.......so believing that all things travel full circle in life I am obligated to give you my best Because someone has also been there for me!!!!
Even as my heart slows its pace in life......the feeling of giving from the heart calms and keeps it beating!!!!
So sorry this happened with your "friend"! I was mad when I read what happened because of your health and what you've been thru but still you cleaned his roof and did so much more. That he expected "payment" is just plain sad. Don't let the B-word get you down. Great for you about drawing that line. No one can take advantage without our permission. Someone smart said that! 😄
Just keep smiling and going forward.
Sherry
It's seems like some dogs have that sense of when someone is up to no-good!!!! Or is he a lady's dog!!!
-- Edited by PIEERE on Friday 5th of July 2013 06:52:08 PM
It is good to know I won't be the only single woman out there. I joined this forum only a week ago and I am just thrilled at the quality of people who have chosen this life. Living their dream while living their lives is awesome!
I don't know what the guy's problem was - but don't make it YOUR problem.
As for the intrusive questions, my mother raised me to answer "Why do you ask?" to put the shoe on the other foot. This usually works.
It isn't my fault I never found my guy, either. I wasn't blessed with children of my own, but I have 22 nieces and nephews from my six siblings and their husbands and wives. My family is my heart and soul. I want to be able to work full time, as well as pick up and travel to visit with them wherever they are. I want to travel this wonderful country and live my life. I just survived a nearly two year battle with breast cancer. I have learned my lesson. The lesson is: If you want to do it, do it now! If you have a dream, make it happen! And be thankful from everyone who crosses your path...even the nuts and seriously rude. I am reminded that I am glad I am Me and not THEM!
I am a year away from making my debut on the road. I have a lot to learn (and medical debts to pay off) first, and I know that this forum is a great place to launch my efforts!
Dawn
Cathy,
I am so glad you brought up the single women who travel and ask for help. This is my Reason #2 for not heading out on the road today. (Reason #1 is lack of funds, of course!)
I am spending the next year taking classes: "Powder Puff" mechanics, Construction, home repair and other classes on use of tools at the Home Depot, Dog Training and more. Why Dog Training you ask? Well, I have never had a dog, and I think traveling with a Service Dog/Companion would be great. But it really sickens me when people get pets then discover how much trouble they are and discard them like last month's meatloaf you found at the back of the fridge! Pets are a responsibility like any other living being, and I want to be a good companion to the dog, too.
Being alone doesn't have to be lonely and doing anything solo means you have to ready for all aspects of your endeavor, because you have no one to lean on except yourself, your experience, your attitude and, for me at least, God.
Dawn
Snakeye,
Congratulations on channeling your energy into going out into the world instead of burrowing into a little cave!
Since December of 2011, I have lived on a borrowed bed in my mom's living room in her Senior Apartment Complex while I underwent treatments for breast cancer. I am not a senior citizen, so I stick out like a sore thumb. I love the ladies and gentlemen here, but I have noticed the residents have a natural Great Divide among them: About 1/3 of them have gumption and get up and go (love the poker games, ladies!) but the other 2/3s are living on their Social Security and Disability and what little pensions some of them have, and they close themselves up in their apartments and the only time you see them is when they come out to do their laundry, and they sit around and complain to each other about being bored and nobody visiting them.
I gave up my downtown Dallas apartment after my diagnosis (to stay with my mom during treatments) and got rid of a lot of "stuff" I didn't need. I have narrowed down all my earthly possessions to things that can fit in 2 closets and a few tubs of stuff in my mom's small storage unit. I am ready to get this show on the road! It sounds like you are, too!
Dawn
Be one of the Proud, the Brave....the Few.....and the Mighty!!! Wear that SOLO shirt with pride, sista!!
Hope to see you on the road!
Carol (a soloist!!
)
Mike,
I once read a book mainly because I loved the title.......it was called ...."WHAT YOU THINK OF ME IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS"........great read!
Carol