In 3 months 70 years will have passed, have owned a Class A American Tradition for 3 years. I would like to change my life and enjoy the remainder without the costs and labor of owning a house. So, my personal feelings are being a fulltime RV'er until years will not allow me to drive. Only problem is my Lady, she is a home body and unlocking the house is her security, how do I start explaining this stupid house is really not security only a sore back for me.
Now What?
Michael Douglas
phyllen said
01:16 PM May 4, 2011
This is a tough one. I can understand your wanting to pick up and go. But if your Lady needs the security of a house, she will never be happy on the road. Only you can decide on the best way to discuss it with her. This life is not for everyone and unfortunately in some situations there really is no compromise. Good luck for you.
whynot20001 said
01:46 PM May 4, 2011
WOW! you sure know how to deflate a persons sails. I'm sure with over a million fulltimers out in RV world I'm not the only one to cross this bridge. Hope to receive more answers from other fulltimers, Hey out there send me more HOPE.........
Michael Douglas
-- Edited by whynot2008 on Wednesday 4th of May 2011 01:50:45 PM
Bill Adams said
03:27 PM May 4, 2011
I don't think you are going to be able to take a big leap but rather take some small steps and see what happens. Suggest taking a 2-3-4 week trip. If that goes well suggest a 2-4 month trip (gotta see those grandkids, National Parks, Mountains, Seashores.....pick one or 2). You are going to have to break the home bond. If you can't and she just whines that she misses her house you are either in really big trouble or you have a lot more work in front of you. The more time you can get in the RV with her the better chance you have. Considering that there are over 300,000,000 people and only 1,000,000 fulltimers (if that's accurate which I suspect it is not) then you only have a 1 in 300 chance of getting this to work.
Racerguy said
04:04 PM May 4, 2011
Click on the" list all users "headline and look for "bubbadan" and read all his posts.His wife was dead set against even going camping but he did as Bill suggested and worked at it slow.She is now camping with him although they are not full time and may never be.The bottom line is,do you really want to force her to do something she doesn't want to do.Your feelings aren't the only ones in play.
Terry and Jo said
06:49 PM May 4, 2011
Michael,
First of all, welcome to the RV Dreams forums. You will find the "family" here to be helpful, friendly, and knowledgeable. I can't say that I know of any "regular" participants who would wish anything other than the best for you.
That said, all the above is good advice, even if it isn't really what you want to hear. As much as one would like our spouses to be "really in tune" with our own desires, it isn't always to be. None of us would want to take your wife aside and tell her just how great the full-time life would be, only to see her STILL be unhappy after committing herself to such a life.
I agree with Bill in that if you have any hopes at all, it would be to get her to agree to extended travel for say 3 to 6 months at a time. However, if your house would have to be sold to finance the full time experience, even on a limited time basis, you would still be facing an uphill struggle.
As with the others, I wish you good fortune regardless of the outcome of the full-time RV life.
Terry
whynot20001 said
10:35 AM May 5, 2011
First, a Big THANKS for everyone's help. Last night I took my Lady out for a steak plus a very large mood drink of White Zin, this sometimes works when communication is required. After a few of these I headed back to the RV life style question. She wasen't so concerned about the sticks and blocks, as she was with the TOTAL LIFE CHANGE. We have traveled a lot mostly oversease for extended periods, even considered a year traveling to many ports of call. I reminded her of these past conversations, ALL AT ONCE A LIGHT BULB was showing above her head very bright, next she stated maybe we should head home so I can learn more about RV long time adventures. Well, if all heads in the right direction my next (TOPIC )will be WHAT NEXT? We have a 4500 sq. ft. house and two 6000 sq. ft. steel buildings full of STUFF/STUFF/STUFF resting on 15 acres. What kind of adventure is in store to down size into a 40 foot box on wheels? I may be off my rocker, not my Lady, now I am starting to think. HELP/HELP/HELP.....................
Michael Douglas
Its about time said
11:53 AM May 5, 2011
Perhaps you could do what we are doing. We are selling the sticks and bricks and renting a 2 bedroom apartment. That way you wouldn't have so much maintenance,repairs, grass cutting, snow shovelling and less money spent on the sticks and bricks and more for travel and fun and she would still have her security of a permanent residence to fall back on if either of you have health issues down the road.
Then you would also be free of property taxes, utilities etc. and all the stuff you have collected over the years that you really won't need. Have garage sales, advertise on the internet, donate to a local charity or give it away to relatives and friends. It truly is liberating but also very much filled with anxiety but once you get past all that the freedom to roam is a terrific reward.
See if she would be willing to do this; given your ages there really isn't much time; so this plan would have to be put in the works ASAP. We are struggling to sell, move and upgrade our 5th wheel so that we can enjoy whatever part of life we still have together by doing what we love, travelling and seeing as many different things and as many new experiences as we can; but we will still have the security of our apartment to come back to.
Good luck on your endeavor, keep talking to her about how you feel and that you care very much about how she feels and perhaps she will be able to meet you half way.
Hope to see you down the road.
Kathy & Rick Rousseau Windsor, Ontario Canada
whynot20001 said
02:07 PM May 5, 2011
Howdy Rick & Kathy,
Great idea for some but I don't want more expenses and burdens, paying for something I would have no plans on using until the Good Lord say's OK Michael it is time for sticks and stones.
Thanks, Michael Douglas
Terry and Jo said
06:20 PM May 5, 2011
Mike,
Just to give you a perspective, let me describe our experience. I am less than three weeks from being 65. Four years ago, we sold a 2300 sq ft house on 5 acres with a 30X50 metal building. While it is doubtful that I had as much stuff as you have, I had enough for Jo to suggest that we sell everything and then buy back what we needed, but buy it new.
Now, I nixed that idea really quick. No way was I going to sell all my stuff at used prices only to replace a lot of it at new prices. So, we moved it all to our current house, 2250 sq ft on 3/4 of an acre.
When she approached with the idea of selling the house, most all of the contents, and then buying an RV so we could full time and travel after we retired, I immediately bought into the idea. Thus began the process of getting rid of "stuff." In reality, like someone else said, it is liberating to be rid of it.
Prior to actually starting to get rid of stuff, I walked out into the garage and started looking at all my "toys." I can tell you that there was very little in there that I could say that I had used very much in the last year, or even 2 or 3 years. So, I suggest you go through your stuff and apply a critical eye to what you have and whether you really use it much.
A lot of people other than RV'ers will advise that if you haven't used something in the last year, get rid of it. The hard thing will be photos and other memories of family. The "stuff" is just so much clutter.
Terry
Ginamar said
11:16 PM Jun 26, 2011
Terry,
I understand about all the pictures and things. Have you thought about putting all of that in digital form? I am going to start that soon and I have already started getting rid of stuff, hoping to convience my husband we do not need all of this. We have just started thinking about a simpler life and downsizing. We are both in our early 50's and not ready to retire but I love the idea of getting rid of the house and stuff.
Just an idea on the pictures and things.
Margina
LadyO said
06:06 AM Jun 27, 2011
Ginamar wrote:
Terry,
I understand about all the pictures and things. Have you thought about putting all of that in digital form? I am going to start that soon and I have already started getting rid of stuff, hoping to convience my husband we do not need all of this. We have just started thinking about a simpler life and downsizing. We are both in our early 50's and not ready to retire but I love the idea of getting rid of the house and stuff.
Just an idea on the pictures and things.
Margina
Margina,
You are where we are. Early 50's, youngest leaving for college in August. Time to start thinking seriously about retirement years. I am seriously researching RV living, my hubby is listening to me talk and read blogs to him. He just smiles. No response one way or the other.
I will keep working on him. Figure I will do baby steps with him. Pushing to get house ready to sell. Buy a condo. Big change from th elarge house and stuff. Hopefully, a lot cheaper too. Buy an RV and start camping before retirnement. He is "grunting" a little softer at this plan.
Tracy
bonnie and clyde said
06:13 PM Jun 28, 2011
Welcome,
There is nothing more exciting than a shared adventure, if you are both on board. Keep talking, sharing dreams, and realize most people never have the big dreams. Wishing you much happiness.
Ivey said
11:26 AM Jul 20, 2011
First welcome to the dream.
When I first suggested this lifestyle my DH was against it. No way was he selling the house and moving into an RV. We started our fulltime adventure on 1 June this year. I did it in baby steps. Short trips and worked it up from there. One day he surprised me by suggesting we sell all and go full time. It worked for us. It took about 2 years total.
Vicky and Ira
53 Merc said
02:33 PM Jul 20, 2011
I just have a question to ask. How many people have you heard of or know that intended to retire and travel? Only they died within a month or two after retirement and before traveling?
bubbadan said
05:16 PM Jul 20, 2011
Race Guy thanks for the word. We are now taking short trips and a vacation of a week this year that she loved and was not ready to come home. We are now in the planning stage of a vacation of two weeks next year to Mesa Verde and up into Colorado and she is helping me pick places to stay and see. Michal, take it slow and easy and she will come around you may not get to f/t but you will get to travel with your buddy. The TT we now have she picked it out and we love it, it's just the right size for us and a small dog, oh and two or three grand kids on a camping trip. The full timing bug has never gone away as a matter of fact it is stronger than ever but I elected to keep my buddy of 44 years and glad I did. There is a lot more to the story like sell the TT before we bought another one together, now our friends have TT's and love to travel in them with us there is a lot more that help change her mind that I wont go into now. Just take it slow and maybe she will come around you have a lot more time than you think. By the way the Lord put the friends in our path it was amazing how that happened.
Penny and Paul said
08:30 AM Jul 21, 2011
whynot20001 wrote:
... Well, if all heads in the right direction my next (TOPIC )will be WHAT NEXT? We have a 4500 sq. ft. house and two 6000 sq. ft. steel buildings full of STUFF/STUFF/STUFF resting on 15 acres. What kind of adventure is in store to down size into a 40 foot box on wheels? I may be off my rocker, not my Lady, now I am starting to think. HELP/HELP/HELP.....................
Michael Douglas
Hi Michael and welcome. Here is a link to some information Howard posted about "Preparing For The Dream". There's good stuff there about all kinds of areas including getting rid of your stuff, what kinds of emotions you might experience while going through the process, and much much more.
You might consider coming to the fall rally. You'll meet some of the nicest people on the planet and have more fun than should be legal, all while finding out about the Full-Time Lifestyle. You don't even need to have an RV yet. You could rent some lodging at or near the facility.
Keep dreaming,
Paul
Ivey said
04:27 PM Jul 24, 2011
I agree with Penny and Paul. If you can make the rally you will learn so much and it will be a good chance for your wife to talk with other wives. She will have a chance to have her fears addressed. At the very worst.......you will make some new friends.
Vicky and Ira
gypsymaus said
06:38 PM Jul 24, 2011
We own a home in an RV Community. The rationale behind the community is to have your RV at home. The home is very affordable and easy to maintain it has full hookups for the RV. Some of our neighbors are only there 4 to 5 months of the year. The beauty of it is when we have company our RV serves as our guestroom.
In 3 months 70 years will have passed, have owned a Class A American Tradition for 3 years. I would like to change my life and enjoy the remainder without the costs and labor of owning a house. So, my personal feelings are being a fulltime RV'er until years will not allow me to drive. Only problem is my Lady, she is a home body and unlocking the house is her security, how do I start explaining this stupid house is really not security only a sore back for me.
Now What?
Michael Douglas
WOW! you sure know how to deflate a persons sails. I'm sure with over a million fulltimers out in RV world I'm not the only one to cross this bridge. Hope to receive more answers from other fulltimers, Hey out there send me more HOPE.........
Michael Douglas
-- Edited by whynot2008 on Wednesday 4th of May 2011 01:50:45 PM
Click on the" list all users "headline and look for "bubbadan" and read all his posts.His wife was dead set against even going camping but he did as Bill suggested and worked at it slow.She is now camping with him although they are not full time and may never be.The bottom line is,do you really want to force her to do something she doesn't want to do.Your feelings aren't the only ones in play.
Michael,
First of all, welcome to the RV Dreams forums. You will find the "family" here to be helpful, friendly, and knowledgeable. I can't say that I know of any "regular" participants who would wish anything other than the best for you.
That said, all the above is good advice, even if it isn't really what you want to hear. As much as one would like our spouses to be "really in tune" with our own desires, it isn't always to be. None of us would want to take your wife aside and tell her just how great the full-time life would be, only to see her STILL be unhappy after committing herself to such a life.
I agree with Bill in that if you have any hopes at all, it would be to get her to agree to extended travel for say 3 to 6 months at a time. However, if your house would have to be sold to finance the full time experience, even on a limited time basis, you would still be facing an uphill struggle.
As with the others, I wish you good fortune regardless of the outcome of the full-time RV life.
Terry
First, a Big THANKS for everyone's help. Last night I took my Lady out for a steak plus a very large mood drink of White Zin, this sometimes works when communication is required. After a few of these I headed back to the RV life style question. She wasen't so concerned about the sticks and blocks, as she was with the TOTAL LIFE CHANGE. We have traveled a lot mostly oversease for extended periods, even considered a year traveling to many ports of call. I reminded her of these past conversations, ALL AT ONCE A LIGHT BULB was showing above her head very bright, next she stated maybe we should head home so I can learn more about RV long time adventures. Well, if all heads in the right direction my next (TOPIC )will be WHAT NEXT? We have a 4500 sq. ft. house and two 6000 sq. ft. steel buildings full of STUFF/STUFF/STUFF resting on 15 acres. What kind of adventure is in store to down size into a 40 foot box on wheels? I may be off my rocker, not my Lady, now I am starting to think. HELP/HELP/HELP.....................
Michael Douglas
Then you would also be free of property taxes, utilities etc. and all the stuff you have collected over the years that you really won't need. Have garage sales, advertise on the internet, donate to a local charity or give it away to relatives and friends. It truly is liberating but also very much filled with anxiety but once you get past all that the freedom to roam is a terrific reward.
See if she would be willing to do this; given your ages there really isn't much time; so this plan would have to be put in the works ASAP. We are struggling to sell, move and upgrade our 5th wheel so that we can enjoy whatever part of life we still have together by doing what we love, travelling and seeing as many different things and as many new experiences as we can; but we will still have the security of our apartment to come back to.
Good luck on your endeavor, keep talking to her about how you feel and that you care very much about how she feels and perhaps she will be able to meet you half way.
Hope to see you down the road.
Kathy & Rick Rousseau
Windsor, Ontario Canada
Great idea for some but I don't want more expenses and burdens, paying for something I would have no plans on using until the Good Lord say's OK Michael it is time for sticks and stones.
Thanks,
Michael Douglas
Mike,
Just to give you a perspective, let me describe our experience. I am less than three weeks from being 65. Four years ago, we sold a 2300 sq ft house on 5 acres with a 30X50 metal building. While it is doubtful that I had as much stuff as you have, I had enough for Jo to suggest that we sell everything and then buy back what we needed, but buy it new.
Now, I nixed that idea really quick. No way was I going to sell all my stuff at used prices only to replace a lot of it at new prices. So, we moved it all to our current house, 2250 sq ft on 3/4 of an acre.
When she approached with the idea of selling the house, most all of the contents, and then buying an RV so we could full time and travel after we retired, I immediately bought into the idea. Thus began the process of getting rid of "stuff." In reality, like someone else said, it is liberating to be rid of it.
Prior to actually starting to get rid of stuff, I walked out into the garage and started looking at all my "toys." I can tell you that there was very little in there that I could say that I had used very much in the last year, or even 2 or 3 years. So, I suggest you go through your stuff and apply a critical eye to what you have and whether you really use it much.
A lot of people other than RV'ers will advise that if you haven't used something in the last year, get rid of it. The hard thing will be photos and other memories of family. The "stuff" is just so much clutter.
Terry
Terry,
I understand about all the pictures and things. Have you thought about putting all of that in digital form? I am going to start that soon and I have already started getting rid of stuff, hoping to convience my husband we do not need all of this. We have just started thinking about a simpler life and downsizing. We are both in our early 50's and not ready to retire but I love the idea of getting rid of the house and stuff.
Just an idea on the pictures and things.
Margina
Margina,
You are where we are. Early 50's, youngest leaving for college in August. Time to start thinking seriously about retirement years. I am seriously researching RV living, my hubby is listening to me talk and read blogs to him. He just smiles. No response one way or the other.
I will keep working on him. Figure I will do baby steps with him. Pushing to get house ready to sell. Buy a condo. Big change from th elarge house and stuff. Hopefully, a lot cheaper too. Buy an RV and start camping before retirnement. He is "grunting" a little softer at this plan.
Tracy
Welcome,
There is nothing more exciting than a shared adventure, if you are both on board. Keep talking, sharing dreams, and realize most people never have the big dreams. Wishing you much happiness.
When I first suggested this lifestyle my DH was against it. No way was he selling the house and moving into an RV. We started our fulltime adventure on 1 June this year. I did it in baby steps. Short trips and worked it up from there. One day he surprised me by suggesting we sell all and go full time. It worked for us. It took about 2 years total.
Vicky and Ira
Michal, take it slow and easy and she will come around you may not get to f/t but you will get to travel with your buddy. The TT we now have she picked it out and we love it, it's just the right size for us and a small dog, oh and two or three grand kids on a camping trip.
The full timing bug has never gone away as a matter of fact it is stronger than ever but I elected to keep my buddy of 44 years and glad I did.
There is a lot more to the story like sell the TT before we bought another one together, now our friends have TT's and love to travel in them with us there is a lot more that help change her mind that I wont go into now.
Just take it slow and maybe she will come around you have a lot more time than you think. By the way the Lord put the friends in our path it was amazing how that happened.
Hi Michael and welcome. Here is a link to some information Howard posted about "Preparing For The Dream". There's good stuff there about all kinds of areas including getting rid of your stuff, what kinds of emotions you might experience while going through the process, and much much more.
You might consider coming to the fall rally. You'll meet some of the nicest people on the planet and have more fun than should be legal, all while finding out about the Full-Time Lifestyle. You don't even need to have an RV yet. You could rent some lodging at or near the facility.
Keep dreaming,
Paul
Vicky and Ira
We own a home in an RV Community. The rationale behind the community is to have your RV at home. The home is very affordable and easy to maintain it has full hookups for the RV. Some of our neighbors are only there 4 to 5 months of the year. The beauty of it is when we have company our RV serves as our guestroom.