Ok, we are not fulltiming yet and don't even take our dogs in the RV on trips...they are old and I have a neighbor who takes care of them when we do go on a trip. Since so many on this forum have animals I have a question for you.
My 15 year old Yorkie is partially blind, has a hard time getting around....sleeps most of the day...and he has a stomach problem. He has lost most of his teeth, gums are in bad shape and he throws up quite often.
We've spent a lot of money on him and now cannot budget anymore....Vet said he needs treatment for the stomach since sometimes he throws up green stuff...(don't want to get too graphic here).
Here's my question....when does one make the decision to put a pet to "sleep". Neither my husband or I can bring ourselves to do it, yet, we don't know if he is in pain and needs to put out of his misery.
Can anyone share experience with this and my feelings of guilt....
Terry and Jo said
09:52 AM Jan 1, 2011
Melanie,
I don't know if I have any answers for you. As for pain, I guess that you would need your vet to give you an idea of whether your Yorkie is in pain or not. Unless you can detect a reflex action of your dog when you pick him up that indicates that he is suffering, then only the vet can help you there.
As for the "green stuff", it might be grass. Animals tend to go outside and eat grass if their stomachs are upset. The grass acts as an agent to make them throw up. Now, you probably already knew that one.
As for making the decision to euthanize a loved pet, I can never answer that one unless you can ascertain that the pet is suffering. All I can do is offer my condolences that you are having to deal with the issue. We love our two MinPins dearly and they are both getting up in years themselves. So, we may very well face the same issue in the not to far future.
Terry
Linda said
10:49 AM Jan 1, 2011
I can only share my experience and opinion here. I had to make the decision on two senior dogs several years back. The first one was a 13 yr. old rescued dog that had several issues when we adopted him. The last issue was an infected and impacted anal gland that caused him to stop eating and became very lethargic and could not go potty. The vet's solution was to lance the gland open and let it ooze for several weeks. I just could not bare to think this was something this poor dog wanted to face after all he had been through. I chose to put him to "sleep" instead. I had never experienced this process and I promised him that I would not leave him, so I stay and watched. It was very difficult, but what really helped me was his expression of relief and peacefulness. I knew I had done the right thing.
One month from that day, my beloved 15 yrs. old dog that Howard and I raised did something to his back. He was obviously in terrible pain. I tried to calm him down for about 4 hours but was unsuccessful. He was unable to sit or lay down, he just paced around the house going to every door wanting to go outside and once he was outside he would turn and just look at me. After many hours of this, I told Howard that we needed to give this poor thing some peace. We took him to the emergency vet and told them it was time. I expressed to them that I didn't want an exam or treatment as he was old and he had had enough pain. The vet took him back for a few minutes. I could hear him yelping. When the vet came back, she said his heart was not sounding very good and she could not argue with our decision. Howard and I stayed in the room while the drug was given to our baby. We both lost it as well as the vet, but we knew we did the right thing.
I guess I'm telling you all this to say...you will know when it is time.
rclvnv said
11:32 AM Jan 1, 2011
Whew! We've just been through this with a beloved family pet,who lived with our daughter,2500 miles from here. We could not be there to offer her physical support, but offered her what emotional support we could. The dog had been her constant companion for 12 yrs.Since she lives alone,the bond was especially close. When she returned to the US after a posting overseas,we spent the summer with her and noticed the dog seemed thin.Long story short,after an undiagnosed cancer caused an eye to be removed, and the poor guy went through that, he died in an especially traumatic episode involving a rush to the emergency vet in the middle of the night.The specialty vet who did the eye surgery found the lung cancer and because of the pain associated with the eye pressure,the decision needed to be made..operation or euthanasia, on the spot. She wasn't ready to let him go,as the cancer was unknown prior to the eye. After all of this and a huge stack of vet bills,she wonders if she did right by him, which adds to her grief,considerably. Unfortunately, since they can't speak to us, we have to make that decision for them.
A vet I admire told me once that the decision should be based on degree of pain, if obvious(dogs don't show it readily..we found out later that the eye pressure situation was very painful..he didn't show it) and/or quality of life,which for a dog is the ability to perform normal dog functions, like elimination,eating,walking,play,etc. once a few of those functions are curtailed,the decision becomes a quality of life issue.
Dogs have given me a great deal of comfort in my life, and still do. I feel that I owe them the best treatment I can give them in return.I'm sure you do too. I cherish the pleasure they give me, but try to remember that I might have to do something down the road that will hurt me terribly,as payback for all that joy I had.
Whatever you decide, it will hurt. I'll keep you in my most positive thoughts.
Richard
Melstar said
12:49 PM Jan 1, 2011
OMG, I have tears in my eyes as I read everyone's responses....but thank you all so much. Terry I don't think it's grass....as I don't see any evidence...and he doesn't go out enough to eat grass.
And Linda.... I felt like I was in the room with you as you had to put your "baby" to sleep.
Richard, thank you for the indication advice...our dog is not going out to use the potty very much...I had to put a rug down in the "mud room" which he goes to alot...but this morning there was evidence that he had done his thing in 2 other places (we put tile floors down years ago because of these animals). If he does make it outside...he stops in the garage...he' not playful anymore....I didn't know that dogs don't show their pain very readily...now I'm really wondering how much pain he is in. I keep waiting for a sound of hurt or moaning....but he just sleeps most of the time.
Whew, I guess I will take him to the Vet next week and get his opinion.
And we have a 12 year old boxer following right behind. He's got issues, but at least he makes it outside and is still somewhat playful and social. Her problem is arthritis...she can't run very much or even go very far around the block. We do have her on medication.
Thanks again....
Racerguy said
01:04 PM Jan 1, 2011
Melanie,visiting with your vet is the best thing to do.Most good vets will tell you if it is time or not.Been there done that also.
Delaine and Lindy said
02:43 PM Jan 1, 2011
We just went thru a horrible time with our Furr Kid "Montana". For 11 month we tried almost every option to stop Montana from having seziures. Nothing worked, tried different meds, they either had a bad side effect or didn't work. He was seen by 4 different Vets none had a answer or what the reason for the seziures.
So after watching Montana have a total of 5 seziures in less that 9 hour I made the hardest decision I have ever had to make. At 8:20 am on 21 Dec we had our Sweet Montana put down. Thank God we have our own private Cementary and Montana was laid to rest there. We are in the process of getting a granite stone with a picture of him etched into it.
Going thru this process has really made us Sick. We at one time would look at people bring large furr kids out of a RV and we would say this will never happen to us. Well it did and for 3 yrs and 8 month Montana was a constant Companion, Montana traveled thousands of miles with us and I Loved every minute of our time together, I thank God for his gift to us.
Will we get another Furr Kid, the answer is no there will never be another Furr Kid in our lives. The loss for Delaine and I is almost unbearable. Never in my dreams would I have believed that I would be so attached to a Furr Kid.
A lady e-mail us a special message, and it say, she believes that every person at one time in life will have a special Furr Kid and you can never replace him, but she said Montana has crossed the Rainbow bridge and is running thru the meadows without pain. I LOVE and Miss my Montana so bad.
Melstar said
08:01 AM Jan 22, 2011
Came home last night from a business trip to find my little 15 year old Yorkie very sick. He had laid in the same spot all day, can't get up, won't drink or eat. Early this morning he was moaning...I held him for a little while, and we will do the dreaded trip to the Vet. I am so sad to think he has been in pain, but I know now is the time. I don't want him to suffer needlessly. He refused a cup of water from me this morning...how sad. I'm trying to keep from falling apart!
RVRon said
08:52 AM Jan 22, 2011
Rainbow Bridge Poem
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; his eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author Unknown
Readytogo said
09:10 AM Jan 22, 2011
After reading this post it reminded me of this e-mail I recently received:
This is one of the kindest things you may ever see..
It is not known who replied, but there is a beautiful soul working in the dead letter office of the US postal service.
Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey.. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so she dictated these words:
Dear God, Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven.. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick. I hope you will play with her.. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her You will know that she is my dog. I really miss her. Love, Meredith
We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.
Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, 'To Meredith' in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, 'When a Pet Dies..' Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey &Meredith and this note:
Dear Meredith, Abbey arrived safely in heaven. Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away. Abbey isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by.. Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you. I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much. By the way, I'm easy to find, I am wherever there is love.
Love, God
tnsauerkraut said
10:03 AM Jan 22, 2011
Melanie, my heart breaks for you right now. I am a huge dog lover and have been in your shoes twice before. My beloved lab and dachshund mix went over the rainbow bridge 5 years ago within 2 months of each other. Both were senior citizens, so it wasn't unexpected, but it didn't ease the pain. I was there with both of them when they breathed their last and I thought my heart would never recover from the pain.
I swore I would never have another dog because it hurt too much. Five months later, little Brenna came into our lives from a puppy mill. Her brother, Donnagan, followed 3 days later from a kill shelter.
Two years later, we rescued Quincey, who completed our little family. I really never thought I could love another dog after my first two, but it's just like human love. You never forget the love you have for those that have passed, but after a while the pain becomes a wonderful memory that will make you smile.
And lo, and behold, my heart was big enough to find love for three others that desperately needed a home and family.
I'm not saying to go out and get another one - each person has to grieve in their own way. I'm just saying that the pain gets easier. Also, don't close your heart off...you never know what will happena nd what God has planned for you...
Penny and Paul said
10:21 AM Jan 22, 2011
Melanie, my heart too breaks for you. We have made that difficult trip to the vet five times, and it never gets easier. Between knowing first hand the pain you are in, the Rainbow Bridge story, the letter to Merideth from God, and remembering my beloved best furry friends, I'm balling like a baby and completely undone. In time, the pain will subside, but the loving memories will always remain. You are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm so very sorry for your loss. Penny
eagleshea said
12:21 PM Jan 22, 2011
Wow, I am trying so hard to write this as the tears are flowing. Melanie, my heart goes out to you. We also have had to do this a few times and it is never easy. I was at the vets yesterday with our 13 year old Cinnamon. Cinnamon has been such a close Friend to me. She has touched my heart like no other dog has ever done. The companionship that she has given me for 13 years now is irreplaceable. We had a scare last week with her having a coughing incident that was so bad she passed out for a second or two. I was so scared. I know that the time will come and I know that it will be one of the hardest things to do. As for when is it time, that is always one of the hardest questions to answer. I have to agree with what many have said here. When the quality of life is no longer good and the dog is no longer is happy, no matter how much we don't want to let go we must, and like Linda said usually your pet will give you a look of thanks and peace. They know that you love them and that their life has been better because of the bonds that were built. Also, as so many have said, it is so hard to do and the grief at the time is so hard but you will get pass it and the memories of all the great times will always be there. Thanks for sharing your experience even though I now have a pile of tissues. and THANKS to everyone for sharing. We are very lucky to have such great companions that will always be by your side no matter what !!!!!!
John
Melstar said
05:57 PM Jan 22, 2011
Thank you guys for such kind and loving words. I guess those who have never had a pet could not relate, but you all have made me feel comforted and not alone in this decision. I did get a chance to hold him and he did look at me with peace. I know that we made the right decision. It's amazing how much pain an animal can take and not show it. He was trooper.
We do have Coco our 13 year old Boxer. She still has a lot of life and we have her to help us not miss Mikey so much.
Thanks again for all of your input and warm comments. I feel blessed to be a part of our community!
-- Edited by Melstar on Saturday 22nd of January 2011 05:59:51 PM
Linda said
08:53 PM Jan 22, 2011
Oh Melanie,
I am so sorry for your loss. We are all here for you. We understand the love of a beloved pet and how hard it is to let them go.
I hope your pain will ease soon.
jjm219 said
10:12 AM Jan 23, 2011
Melanie,
My condolences on the loss of your dog. I had to put my beloved Sugar down 2 weeks before Christmas. My heart was broken. She was a shelter dog and we were only blessed with her for 2 years. When we got her from the shelter they guessed her age to be about 5 but when she got sick the vet said she thinks she was much older than we thought.
Without going into too many details - in late summer(maybe around August or September) she started to walk in circles. After that her legs would give out and she would fall down the steps when I was taking her out. She was 69 pounds and eventually I had to carry her in and out. Then she started walking into walls. Later when I would take her outside she wandered aimlessly like she didn't know she was out there to go the bathroom. It got to the point where I looked into her big, beautiful brown eyes and it was like she didn't even see me. (i was taking her to the vet all this time trying to find out what was wrong) We treated in several different ways but nothing worked. Eventually she stopped eating and she dropped weight quickly. I knew it was time. I went to the cemetery that morning and asked my mom to be waiting for her in Heaven. Then I held my Sugar in my arms and told her she was going to Heaven to be with gram and my other dogs. Of course I sobbed and kissed her good-bye.
I feel that my deceased mother sent her to me because my husband and I were going through some stressful times and when I looked at Sugar she made everything all right. People say I gave her a good home but what she gave me was sooooo much more. I miss her every day. This is the third dog in about 10 years I have had to make this decision for. We always adopt the old dogs from the shelter that nobody wants and the rewards are tremendous.
I'm reading everyone's posts and crying like a baby. The best you can do is focus on what a good life you have given your dog and remember how enriched your life was by having him in it.
Jane
tnsauerkraut said
10:30 AM Jan 23, 2011
jjm219 wrote:
Without going into too many details - in late summer(maybe around August or September) she started to walk in circles. After that her legs would give out and she would fall down the steps when I was taking her out. She was 69 pounds and eventually I had to carry her in and out. Then she started walking into walls. Later when I would take her outside she wandered aimlessly like she didn't know she was out there to go the bathroom. It got to the point where I looked into her big, beautiful brown eyes and it was like she didn't even see me. (i was taking her to the vet all this time trying to find out what was wrong) We treated in several different ways but nothing worked. Eventually she stopped eating and she dropped weight quickly. I knew it was time. I went to the cemetery that morning and asked my mom to be waiting for her in Heaven. Then I held my Sugar in my arms and told her she was going to Heaven to be with gram and my other dogs. Of course I sobbed and kissed her good-bye.
Jane, my dachshund mix did the same thing..he would walk into a corner and not know how to get out. My vet said it was dementia and that he was so confused that we were doing him a favor by putting him out of his misery. But like you, I still miss him every day, even thopugh I have my three furkids to keep me busy. My condolences and prayers to you and your loss.
jjm219 said
10:54 AM Jan 23, 2011
Sugar did the same thing with the corners. It was so hard to watch. She would get in a corner and just stand there not knowing what to do. I would call her name and she didn't respond. It was so hard to see my once fun loving, vivacious buddy suffer from dementia like that. I spent many hours on the internet looking for solutions. I wanted God to take her but I made the decision to stop her suffering.
A friend of mine has a Great Pyrenees whose back legs no longer work, she's 130 pounds! But mentally she is fine. That's a tough one. The dog is too big for her to carry outside. She's having to clean up after her in the house but she doesn't want to put her to sleep. I don't know what to tell her. She'll have to make that decision when the time is right for her.
I still have a cat, whom I love too, but it is not the same as my dog, who by the way LOVED camping with us.
tnsauerkraut said
10:57 AM Jan 23, 2011
jjm219 wrote:
I still have a cat, whom I love too, but it is not the same as my dog, who by the way LOVED camping with us.
I know, cats are wonderful creatures, but they're just not dogs. Not that I'm wanting to get into a cat/dog debate here - it's just that dogs are more outgoing and loving, as a rule, than cats.
RVRon said
10:58 AM Jan 23, 2011
jjm219 wrote:We always adopt the old dogs from the shelter that nobody wants and the rewards are tremendous.
Jane
Not wishing to hijack Melanie's thread but I wanted to commend Jane for adopting the older dogs. We volunteer for a local no-kill shelter and it's very hard to find folks to adopt the senior dogs. It seems that everyone wants a young dog for a variety of reasons and the older dogs just wait and wait and wait for their forever family to come along.
We adopted Callie (golden/aussie mix) about 2 years ago and we're guessing her age to be in the 5-8 year range. She came to us fully housebroken and is just about the most perfect dog anyone could as for. Yes, we rescued her but there is no doubt that she has given us way more in the way of enriching our lives. By the way, before she came to us she had been picked up as a stray by animal control and was on death row when rescued by Safe Animal Shelter here in Middleburg, FL.
tnsauerkraut said
11:41 AM Jan 23, 2011
I also volunteer at a local animal shelter and this past Thanksgiving my mom adopted a 5-8 year old terrier that would probably have been put down. That adoption has brought a new lease on life not only for Alex, the dog, but also my mom.
jjm219 said
11:42 AM Jan 23, 2011
Ron,
Your Callie is absolutely beautiful. I love taking the older dogs but I have to realize that my time with them is limited. But each one I have had has been the perfect dog too. Some are abused, some are strays but I look at them and wonder who could not love them? I'm not quite ready for another one yet. People are already telling me about the dogs in the newspaper. Maybe soon. Here is my Sugar in the camper, of course.
jjm219 said
11:43 AM Jan 23, 2011
Woops, the picture didn't show up. hmm, don't know what i did wrong, it was there when I hit submit.
Tim & Robyn said
12:15 PM Jan 23, 2011
This is the toughest thing that pet owners have to face. I don't really have any solutions to offer othere than no matter how hard it may be, you sure don't want your four-legged kids to suffer. They have been faithful family members all their lives, maybe the only ones who have given you unconditional love through thick and thin. They have depended on you for everything, and end-of-life is the hardest of all.
I don't know about dogs - I have always had cats. My vet once told me that with cats it's like floating down a river in a canoe and all of a sudden you get caught up in a current and go over a waterfall - when cats show symptoms, they are generally already very, very sick.
As far as feelings of guilt go, I can empathize with that. Did I take care of them as well as I should have? Was there something I could have done that was left undone? And on and on. In preventing needless suffering I don't think there is anything to feel guilty about. Yet, despite our best intentions, it still happens sometimes. Back in 1985-86 I had a really great cat who literally died in my arms from feline leukemia (that was before I knew there was a vaccine to prevent it). I vowed then never to let that happen again to an animal I loved. Yet, last December, it happened again. I had a 15-year old with thyroid problems. He was being medicated for that, and on the evening of Dec.11 he was himself, eating like a pig, and the next morning I found him dead on the floor in the master bathroom.
And on Christmas Eve Day I took a 16-year old to the vet to have his kidney function rechecked - his kidneys were failing, and despite meds and a special diet the numbers were twice as bad as the last time he was checked. He did not come home with me that day - I had him put down because it was clear for the previous week or two that he wasn't feeling good and not having any fun anymore. As hard as that was, it was the kindest most loving thing I could have done for him. I had him cremated, and the next time I go to Jacksonville, FL I'm going to spread his ashes on my wife's grave, because she loved him too and he loved her.
My heart goes out to you with whatever you decide. People who love and care for pet animals are special people, and all these guys who have gone before will be waiting for us at the Rainbow Bridge to cross over with us when our days in this world are over.
Since so many on this forum have animals I have a question for you.
My 15 year old Yorkie is partially blind, has a hard time getting around....sleeps most of the day...and he has a stomach problem. He has lost most of his teeth, gums are in bad shape and he throws up quite often.
We've spent a lot of money on him and now cannot budget anymore....Vet said he needs treatment for the stomach since sometimes he throws up green stuff...(don't want to get too graphic here).
Here's my question....when does one make the decision to put a pet to "sleep". Neither my husband or I can bring ourselves to do it, yet, we don't know if he is in pain and needs to put out of his misery.
Can anyone share experience with this and my feelings of guilt....
I don't know if I have any answers for you. As for pain, I guess that you would need your vet to give you an idea of whether your Yorkie is in pain or not. Unless you can detect a reflex action of your dog when you pick him up that indicates that he is suffering, then only the vet can help you there.
As for the "green stuff", it might be grass. Animals tend to go outside and eat grass if their stomachs are upset. The grass acts as an agent to make them throw up. Now, you probably already knew that one.
As for making the decision to euthanize a loved pet, I can never answer that one unless you can ascertain that the pet is suffering. All I can do is offer my condolences that you are having to deal with the issue. We love our two MinPins dearly and they are both getting up in years themselves. So, we may very well face the same issue in the not to far future.
Terry
One month from that day, my beloved 15 yrs. old dog that Howard and I raised did something to his back. He was obviously in terrible pain. I tried to calm him down for about 4 hours but was unsuccessful. He was unable to sit or lay down, he just paced around the house going to every door wanting to go outside and once he was outside he would turn and just look at me. After many hours of this, I told Howard that we needed to give this poor thing some peace. We took him to the emergency vet and told them it was time. I expressed to them that I didn't want an exam or treatment as he was old and he had had enough pain. The vet took him back for a few minutes. I could hear him yelping. When the vet came back, she said his heart was not sounding very good and she could not argue with our decision. Howard and I stayed in the room while the drug was given to our baby. We both lost it as well as the vet, but we knew we did the right thing.
I guess I'm telling you all this to say...you will know when it is time.
A vet I admire told me once that the decision should be based on degree of pain, if obvious(dogs don't show it readily..we found out later that the eye pressure situation was very painful..he didn't show it) and/or quality of life,which for a dog is the ability to perform normal dog functions, like elimination,eating,walking,play,etc. once a few of those functions are curtailed,the decision becomes a quality of life issue.
Dogs have given me a great deal of comfort in my life, and still do. I feel that I owe them the best treatment I can give them in return.I'm sure you do too. I cherish the pleasure they give me, but try to remember that I might have to do something down the road that will hurt me terribly,as payback for all that joy I had.
Whatever you decide, it will hurt. I'll keep you in my most positive thoughts.
Richard
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; his eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author Unknown
This is one of the kindest things you may ever see..
It is not known who replied, but there is a beautiful soul working in the dead letter office of the US postal service.
Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey.. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so she dictated these words:
Dear God,
Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven.. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick.
I hope you will play with her.. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her You will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.
Love, Meredith
We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.
Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, 'To Meredith' in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, 'When a Pet Dies..' Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey &Meredith and this note:
Dear Meredith,
Abbey arrived safely in heaven.
Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away.
Abbey isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by..
Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you.
I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much.
By the way, I'm easy to find, I am wherever there is love.
Love,
God
Wow, I am trying so hard to write this as the tears are flowing. Melanie, my heart goes out to you. We also have had to do this a few times and it is never easy. I was at the vets yesterday with our 13 year old Cinnamon. Cinnamon has been such a close Friend to me. She has touched my heart like no other dog has ever done. The companionship that she has given me for 13 years now is irreplaceable. We had a scare last week with her having a coughing incident that was so bad she passed out for a second or two. I was so scared. I know that the time will come and I know that it will be one of the hardest things to do. As for when is it time, that is always one of the hardest questions to answer. I have to agree with what many have said here. When the quality of life is no longer good and the dog is no longer is happy, no matter how much we don't want to let go we must, and like Linda said usually your pet will give you a look of thanks and peace. They know that you love them and that their life has been better because of the bonds that were built. Also, as so many have said, it is so hard to do and the grief at the time is so hard but you will get pass it and the memories of all the great times will always be there. Thanks for sharing your experience even though I now have a pile of tissues. and THANKS to everyone for sharing. We are very lucky to have such great companions that will always be by your side no matter what !!!!!!
John
We do have Coco our 13 year old Boxer. She still has a lot of life and we have her to help us not miss Mikey so much.
Thanks again for all of your input and warm comments. I feel blessed to be a part of our community!
-- Edited by Melstar on Saturday 22nd of January 2011 05:59:51 PM
I am so sorry for your loss. We are all here for you. We understand the love of a beloved pet and how hard it is to let them go.
I hope your pain will ease soon.
I know, cats are wonderful creatures, but they're just not dogs. Not that I'm wanting to get into a cat/dog debate here - it's just that dogs are more outgoing and loving, as a rule, than cats.
We adopted Callie (golden/aussie mix) about 2 years ago and we're guessing her age to be in the 5-8 year range. She came to us fully housebroken and is just about the most perfect dog anyone could as for. Yes, we rescued her but there is no doubt that she has given us way more in the way of enriching our lives. By the way, before she came to us she had been picked up as a stray by animal control and was on death row when rescued by Safe Animal Shelter here in Middleburg, FL.
I don't know about dogs - I have always had cats. My vet once told me that with cats it's like floating down a river in a canoe and all of a sudden you get caught up in a current and go over a waterfall - when cats show symptoms, they are generally already very, very sick.
As far as feelings of guilt go, I can empathize with that. Did I take care of them as well as I should have? Was there something I could have done that was left undone? And on and on. In preventing needless suffering I don't think there is anything to feel guilty about. Yet, despite our best intentions, it still happens sometimes. Back in 1985-86 I had a really great cat who literally died in my arms from feline leukemia (that was before I knew there was a vaccine to prevent it). I vowed then never to let that happen again to an animal I loved. Yet, last December, it happened again. I had a 15-year old with thyroid problems. He was being medicated for that, and on the evening of Dec.11 he was himself, eating like a pig, and the next morning I found him dead on the floor in the master bathroom.
And on Christmas Eve Day I took a 16-year old to the vet to have his kidney function rechecked - his kidneys were failing, and despite meds and a special diet the numbers were twice as bad as the last time he was checked. He did not come home with me that day - I had him put down because it was clear for the previous week or two that he wasn't feeling good and not having any fun anymore. As hard as that was, it was the kindest most loving thing I could have done for him. I had him cremated, and the next time I go to Jacksonville, FL I'm going to spread his ashes on my wife's grave, because she loved him too and he loved her.
My heart goes out to you with whatever you decide. People who love and care for pet animals are special people, and all these guys who have gone before will be waiting for us at the Rainbow Bridge to cross over with us when our days in this world are over.
God bless, Tim