Had a minor identity crisis today. Was starting to go through my clothes and had a little meltdown trying to figure out who the next me is and what she needs in terms of wardrobe. Talked to Johnny about it, but have found most guys just don't understand this particular problem.
Right now I'm not sure if I'm going to be working when we're on the road and if I am, I'm not sure doing what. Part of me says I need to figure that part out and then deal with the wardrobe pare down, but reality says it's going to have to evolve. If I want to join him on the road in January, there's barely enough time to get the house ready to lease and keep up with my current work.
I'm pretty comfortable with the times when we're traveling. Just not sure what I'm going to do when Johnny is working for a few months at a time. One of the things I've considered is doing some workkamping when he's working. Not sure if we can make that happen since his work location will determine the workkamping options. I'm also considering going back to consulting -- which means I need a "professional" wardrobe.
Wondering if anyone else experienced this sort of identity crisis and if so how did you deal with it or how do you continue to deal with it?
The other part of me just needed to vent a little....
Paul and Jo said
06:40 PM Sep 22, 2010
Ckerr wrote:Talked to Johnny about it, but have found most guys just don't understand this particular problem.
I understand completely! Just ask my Jo. :)
Paul
Ckerr said
06:46 PM Sep 22, 2010
Nothing disparaging meant about the wonderful men in our lives. Johnny is wonderful about it.
I think it's partly that other than not coming home to the house and me being there full time when he's working, nothing much will change for him.
For me, I'm giving up my career and leaving the place I've lived the last 20+ years. Giving up the house isn't that big of a deal for either of us. But I've supported myself (and an ex-husband) since I graduated from college. Since I'm not really ready to "retire" -- whatever that means --I'm just not sure who I'm becoming...
Perhaps Jo can give us a hint how she's negotiating the new waters?
TXRVr said
09:58 AM Oct 7, 2010
Ckerr wrote:
Talked to Johnny about it, but have found most guys just don't understand this particular problem.
OH YES WE DO! We understand perfectly that whatever advise we give, it will be considered as wrong.
It's usually best to keep quiet and be thought of as not caring rather than open the mouth and prove it.
jagco said
10:43 AM Oct 7, 2010
TXRVr wrote:
Ckerr wrote:
Talked to Johnny about it, but have found most guys just don't understand this particular problem.
OH YES WE DO! We understand perfectly that whatever advise we give, it will be considered as wrong.
It's usually best to keep quiet and be thought of as not caring rather than open the mouth and prove it.
That gave me a good laugh!!
The Bear II said
12:04 PM Oct 7, 2010
"No honey those (insert name of clothing article here) don't make you look fat"
Gary said
12:42 PM Oct 7, 2010
The Bear II wrote:
"No honey those (insert name of clothing article here) don't make you look fat"
"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me or, quite possibly, get me killed."
Roz said
10:03 PM Oct 7, 2010
Simply reverts to the theory that if a man says something to himself five miles into the woods alone, will he still be wrong?
-- Edited by Roz on Thursday 7th of October 2010 10:05:03 PM
Linda said
08:27 AM Oct 10, 2010
Okay, let's get back on the subject.
Ckerr your feelings are valid and yes you will probably evolve as the lifestyle progresses. One thing that will probably dictate is the amount of storage space you have. SpaceBags can be one solution. They are wonderful for rv storage limitations.
If it were me in your situation, I would focus on things that can be mixed and matched. Things that give you several different outfits. And don't forget the shoes! They can take up a lot of room also, so I would choose shoes that can go with several outfits as well.
I hope that helps a little. Oh the thrill of being able to choose the new you!
TxYellowRose said
09:30 PM Oct 10, 2010
Hiya Ckerr,
I think I understand. When culling out clothes, I initially thought, "What if I need a good suit or dress?" You know, something professional.
My situation was a little different from yours. I left the corporate world many years ago. The attire for managing self-storage doesn't require heels, stockings and a suit.
BUT! I was reluctant to give up the few "nice" things I had. I came to realize that my current life then and the upcoming full-timing life were totally different. The last time I used one of those outfits was at my Mom's life celebration in 2007!
A girlfriend got a lot of my clothes, including those "nice" ones.
As Linda suggested, try to have things that mix-and-match. My "dressy" clothes now are jeans, nice blouse/sweater and a jacket. I did keep two skirts - a blue denim and a nicer but casual black one.
Accessories help - scarves and jewlery can change the tone of an outfit.
Shoes were no big deal, as I gave up the high heels ages ago. I do have some "dressy" flats, though. Dressy compared to boots, moccasins, sandals, etc.
Space bags are great, as suggested. You might keep one or two outfits if you think you'll really need them and can later cull those out if you find you don't use them.
Perhaps look at it like this - how do you envision your new life? How do you see it and yourself?
Have fun with it!
Cheers, Betty
Ckerr said
10:18 PM Oct 10, 2010
Thanks for the empathy, helpful suggestions and some of you just for making me laugh...
I'm trying Betty's suggestion to envision the life I want to live...
Reality is that while we are going to live in the RV fulltime, I am not ready to retire and in no way can afford to. So partly I guess it's a matter of figuring out just how much income I need to generate and how much time I want to devote to doing it. Of course if I could figure out how to be comfortable with Johnny being responsible for generating the income all of this would be a moot point. Just can't quite get there no matter how much he encourages me to... Maybe one day...
If I go back to doing some consulting, I can probably work about 30 days a year and live a very comfortable life. That means having some professional clothes in the wardrobe. And truth is I wouldn't mind doing that much consulting. It's when it becomes fulltime that I start to hate it.
If I do some other sort of work, I could stick with a more casual wardrobe, but I'd also have to work a lot more hours/days/weeks to generate the same amount of inccome... So much to consider...
Someday I'm sure it will all become clear and then it will all change! Isn't that the way life is?
Gary said
07:02 AM Oct 11, 2010
This is coming from a guy so take it with a grain of salt.
I was considering what I would be taking with us when we start this adventure in a few years. I own 5 suits, numerous dress shirts, slacks, ties, etc. Other than that, I live in either jeans and polo shirts or shorts and tee shirts or a combo (depending on the activity).
In my mind, I think I have narrowed down what I need to have to go on the road considering that I will be retired but I may need to "dress up" occasionally.
3 Suit Coats
5 Dress Shirts of different colors
5 Ties of different styles
5 pairs of Slacks
3 pairs of Jeans
5 pairs of Shorts
7-10 Polo Shirts
7-10 Tee Shirts (bombing around types)
5 Tee Shirts (for the aforementioned dress shirts)
1 pair of Loafers for the suit.
1 pair of Tennis Shoes
1 pair of Sandals
1 pair of Golf Shoes.
That's it. Can go formal or just plain ol' relax. Doesn't take up much room.
Once again, this is a guy's perspective.
Ckerr said
07:48 AM Oct 11, 2010
Hi Gary,
Thanks for a guys perspective. It looks like you have a good workable list. You might consider adding swim trunks and a jacket...
I particularly appreciate your inclusion of golf attire!
I think for me it will be easier ot just keep working what is in the closet down to an amount that will fit in the RV than to start with a list. Or maybe it's a list of activities and then check that against what's left in the closet.
Now that I say that I think it's more a question of what are the activiites than what are the clothes
Racerguy said
10:07 AM Oct 11, 2010
This is an EXTREMELY casual guys list. 6 pair jeans,1 pair slacks,14 t-shirts(including my favorite that says"This is as dressed up as I get") 1 dress shirt,a few pair of shorts and some sweats.Also included is the appropriate under wear changes.Light jacket in case I haven't moved south fast enough.
Gary said
10:13 AM Oct 11, 2010
The jacket and the swim trunks weren't included but on the main list along with the socks and underwear. Actually had to make sure because when you said that Carol, I really had to think about that!
Figure with what my list has, I can go formal, semi-formal, business casual, casual, golf mode or just "flat out relax" mode and only take up about a third of the closet and two drawers tops. The DW gets the rest cuz it's easier for guys!
After some time on the road, sort as necessary!
TxYellowRose said
12:12 PM Oct 11, 2010
Carol,
I did my wardrobe culling in stages.
First the things I knew I wouldn't be taking - wedding dress, etc.
Next put aside the items I really liked and wore a lot.
From that bunch, evaluated what did I really wear? Funny how we wear pretty much the same stuff, with variations, much of the time.
Christmas sweaters? Only had a couple but hey, add a Christmas scarf to a black shell under a red jacket sweater and voila! Christmas outfit!
Functionality was the next thing, so we're back to the mix-and-match idea. Black shell under a jacket is versatile.
Then it was space and weight. Bulky sweater vs lighter one? Weed out sock drawer and lingerie items.
Next, stuff it all into the drawers and closet in the rig! Teehee!
A friend told me about space-saving hangers at Bed, Bath and Beyond. I found mine at Wal-Mart. They have a felt/cloth covering so clothes don't fall off and they are very skinny. They do work!
We also put those hanging shoe/item canvas hanging shelf/compartment units in the closet. That adds more space for things that would otherwise go in a drawer. Very cool!
Space bags for the winter stuff, should the weather ever actually change into winter. (Can you tell I'm tired of summer????) We'll rotate that out as needed - summer stuff into the bags when the winter clothes come out.
Three and a half months on the road and we've already tossed out some clothes.
Cheers, Betty
Dave Buck said
06:36 PM Oct 11, 2010
George, I think your list is closer to what mine will be. One dress shirt is plenty.
Waggin Tails said
07:48 PM Oct 11, 2010
Sorry guys, here in South Texas, we are pretty casual. I cannot remember the last time I wore a tie, much less a sports jacket. Work is usually business casual (very casual). My travel attire will most likely be jeans and casual shirts, polos; shorts and tees. Maybe one dress outfit just in case. If I need to get real dressy, I can always rent a suit.
Racerguy said
07:55 PM Oct 11, 2010
I would like to add Linda's wardrobe is as casual as mine...She just looks better.
janni said
09:16 PM Oct 11, 2010
Carol, I think I did mine a lot like Betty.......kept on downsizing until I could make it fit. It wasn't easy. I don't have a lot of really nice stuff but I got a "thing" about shoes and hoodies. My two biggest anxiety times were the clothes and my very large but useful "junk drawer"(still not really sure why the junk drawer?) anyway........nothing beats the freedom from all that stuff! Like the others said just look for the new you!
Ckerr said
10:58 AM Oct 16, 2010
Thanks Everyone for your perspective and encouragement! Tomorrow I'm back to closet cleaning after my little hiatus in AR.
The flat covered hangers are great! I had bought them from HSN when we first got this 5th wheel 3 years ago. They really keep the clothes from falling off the hangers and they take less space.
Only problem is that I found out Johnny has completely used every single hanger and ALL the closet space! Had a little meltdown about where my stuff is supposed to go and he promised to pay attention to what he actually wears and narrow things down before I come back in a couple of weeks.
Anyone else sharing RV space with a male clothes horse??? LOL Good thing I love him a bunch!
rjenkins said
11:17 AM Oct 16, 2010
Another vote for the Racerguy list, looks like mine. I guess it makes a difference if you play golf which I do not. I have suit coats now in my S&B home and unfortunately the only time I break them out is for funerals! Other than a wedding, if there is a social function that requires a suit coat, I'd just rather not attend!
Right now I'm not sure if I'm going to be working when we're on the road and if I am, I'm not sure doing what. Part of me says I need to figure that part out and then deal with the wardrobe pare down, but reality says it's going to have to evolve. If I want to join him on the road in January, there's barely enough time to get the house ready to lease and keep up with my current work.
I'm pretty comfortable with the times when we're traveling. Just not sure what I'm going to do when Johnny is working for a few months at a time. One of the things I've considered is doing some workkamping when he's working. Not sure if we can make that happen since his work location will determine the workkamping options. I'm also considering going back to consulting -- which means I need a "professional" wardrobe.
Wondering if anyone else experienced this sort of identity crisis and if so how did you deal with it or how do you continue to deal with it?
The other part of me just needed to vent a little....
Paul
It's usually best to keep quiet and be thought of as not caring rather than open the mouth and prove it.
"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me or, quite possibly, get me killed."
-- Edited by Roz on Thursday 7th of October 2010 10:05:03 PM
Ckerr your feelings are valid and yes you will probably evolve as the lifestyle progresses. One thing that will probably dictate is the amount of storage space you have. SpaceBags can be one solution. They are wonderful for rv storage limitations.
If it were me in your situation, I would focus on things that can be mixed and matched. Things that give you several different outfits. And don't forget the shoes! They can take up a lot of room also, so I would choose shoes that can go with several outfits as well.
I hope that helps a little. Oh the thrill of being able to choose the new you!
Hiya Ckerr,
I think I understand. When culling out clothes, I initially thought, "What if I need a good suit or dress?" You know, something professional.
My situation was a little different from yours. I left the corporate world many years ago. The attire for managing self-storage doesn't require heels, stockings and a suit.
BUT! I was reluctant to give up the few "nice" things I had. I came to realize that my current life then and the upcoming full-timing life were totally different. The last time I used one of those outfits was at my Mom's life celebration in 2007!
A girlfriend got a lot of my clothes, including those "nice" ones.
As Linda suggested, try to have things that mix-and-match. My "dressy" clothes now are jeans, nice blouse/sweater and a jacket. I did keep two skirts - a blue denim and a nicer but casual black one.
Accessories help - scarves and jewlery can change the tone of an outfit.
Shoes were no big deal, as I gave up the high heels ages ago. I do have some "dressy" flats, though. Dressy compared to boots, moccasins, sandals, etc.
Space bags are great, as suggested. You might keep one or two outfits if you think you'll really need them and can later cull those out if you find you don't use them.
Perhaps look at it like this - how do you envision your new life? How do you see it and yourself?
Have fun with it!
Cheers,
Betty
I'm trying Betty's suggestion to envision the life I want to live...
Reality is that while we are going to live in the RV fulltime, I am not ready to retire and in no way can afford to. So partly I guess it's a matter of figuring out just how much income I need to generate and how much time I want to devote to doing it. Of course if I could figure out how to be comfortable with Johnny being responsible for generating the income all of this would be a moot point. Just can't quite get there no matter how much he encourages me to... Maybe one day...
If I go back to doing some consulting, I can probably work about 30 days a year and live a very comfortable life. That means having some professional clothes in the wardrobe. And truth is I wouldn't mind doing that much consulting. It's when it becomes fulltime that I start to hate it.
If I do some other sort of work, I could stick with a more casual wardrobe, but I'd also have to work a lot more hours/days/weeks to generate the same amount of inccome... So much to consider...
Someday I'm sure it will all become clear and then it will all change! Isn't that the way life is?
Carol,
I did my wardrobe culling in stages.
First the things I knew I wouldn't be taking - wedding dress, etc.
Next put aside the items I really liked and wore a lot.
From that bunch, evaluated what did I really wear? Funny how we wear pretty much the same stuff, with variations, much of the time.
Christmas sweaters? Only had a couple but hey, add a Christmas scarf to a black shell under a red jacket sweater and voila! Christmas outfit!
Functionality was the next thing, so we're back to the mix-and-match idea. Black shell under a jacket is versatile.
Then it was space and weight. Bulky sweater vs lighter one? Weed out sock drawer and lingerie items.
Next, stuff it all into the drawers and closet in the rig! Teehee!
A friend told me about space-saving hangers at Bed, Bath and Beyond. I found mine at Wal-Mart. They have a felt/cloth covering so clothes don't fall off and they are very skinny. They do work!
We also put those hanging shoe/item canvas hanging shelf/compartment units in the closet. That adds more space for things that would otherwise go in a drawer. Very cool!
Space bags for the winter stuff, should the weather ever actually change into winter. (Can you tell I'm tired of summer????) We'll rotate that out as needed - summer stuff into the bags when the winter clothes come out.
Three and a half months on the road and we've already tossed out some clothes.
Cheers,
Betty