I'm getting real close (weeks) to moving from OH to CA to meet up with my SO and start our RV life. I'm leaving behind my 34 year old son and many belongings. The rest of my family is in NJ, way far away. I find myself alternating between excitement, fear and sadness. Was going through lots of old pictures today and burst into tears. It's not that I don't want to do this - I do. It's just such a life change and it scares me. My situation's a little different from most I think in that I've not been married for years. John's being very supportive, but I think it's difficult for men to really understand the emotions I'm feeling. So ladies, I'm reaching out to you. It'll be fine, heck it'll be great. But the leading up to is pretty heartrending.
Need your help, ladies. Karen
Just had a thought -- it's the little things too -- silly things like where do I put an ironing board. Not necessarily rational, but part of the overall panic.
-- Edited by KD on Sunday 7th of March 2010 05:08:13 PM
DorisandDave said
05:18 PM Mar 7, 2010
KD, It WILL be alright! I'm in the middle of cleaning out the house, giving stuff to the kids, sorting out stuff to get sold...I'm excited most of the time and can hardly wait for it all to begin.
BUT - I know that when it comes right down to the time to leave, I will be crying and wondering the same things you are. I will miss my kids, my grandkids and the life we have made here for the last 20 years.
BUT - I've been there before....military brat, military active duty and military wife. Lots of moves, lots of places. It was scary each and every time......It was hard each and every time....and each and every time we came to love the new place, the new people and the new life. After a while it became an adventure, for us and the kids...
Yes, you will miss everything you are leaving.... BUT.....somewhere between leaving today's life and moving toward the new one, you WILL feel less sorrow and scariness and MORE and MORE excitement for the life to come. So, just know that what you are feeling is completely normal and it too shall pass.
Doris
-- Edited by DorisandDave on Sunday 7th of March 2010 05:19:42 PM
TheMeanderingMillers said
05:44 PM Mar 7, 2010
We didn't spend much time planning, the idea of full timing was just an idea for when we retire...way off in the future. Then my husband became ill and I was killing myself at the job. One day we just decided life is too short. It was a total of 45 days from the day of saying let's do it now to pulling out in the RV.
Like you, I felt both excitment and sadness. I experienced emotions I never thought I had in me.
Even though we were in frantic mode to downsize and sell our prized possessons (years of hard work and careers to obtain) and prepare our finances and everything else for perpetual travel, you would think I didn't have time to think about the life I was leaving behind. Oh, how wrong! I cried like a baby many, many times during the cleaning out and ridding of possessions. I worried about what to keep and became overwhelmed by the smallest things like which set of towels to keep for the RV.
The only thing that kept me from calling a stop to it all was thinking about the future. I was closing a chapter in my book and starting a new one. I had a blank page and just started writing it in my head every time I felt sad or overwhelmed. The past life was a great one but the next life will be even better. At least that's what I kept telling myself and I got through it that way.
It's been 10 months now and I haven't regretted it for a minute!!
Cry all you need and let it go. It's a loss but it's not the end, it's the beginning. Hang in there!
TheBobGuy said
09:15 PM Mar 7, 2010
Hi Karen...first of all...toss the ironing board...LOL! You really won't need it!!! Now, I do iron things, but just don't use an ironing board!! And you won't iron as much as you did at home.
Just remember, it is a great big adventure. You can always go back and have a stix-n-brix, if this isn't for you...but you will never know if you don't give it a try.
Do we sometimes miss "things" and folks at home? Things, really, not very often. If there are things you truly don't want to give up, then find a way to store them until you know that you are happy ...that way you won't have the feeling that you've given up too much. We don't have any grandchildren so that makes it a bit easier for us. We do miss our grown son and daughter, but we find we are able to spend more quality time with them now than before, when we had the big house. And we look forward to our times together so much!!
You will find so much that fills your life in ways you've never thought of....new friends, places, sights, experiences and there will be so much to absorb. Try to focus on these things and it won't be quite so daunting. I think we all had the same feelings as you, to differing degrees, so you are not alone.
Hang in there....it is soooo worth it!!! Keep us posted on how things are going!!!
Hope to meet you on the road!
Hugs!
Molly
jimdee said
09:21 AM Mar 8, 2010
You'll do just fine. We've been on the road just a few days, but once you pull out you look forward NOT backward. We found home is where you are, not a place. Please don't be attached to "stuff".
We had an apartment after a transition from selling the condo to getting the RV. Once the food was out of the apartment it was so easy moving to the RV and not looking back. We're on the move from NC to Fl and loving every minute. Look at it as a new life, have fun.
Keep us posted, we're all here for support. You won't need the ironing board. Dee
TxYellowRose said
05:23 PM Mar 8, 2010
Karen,
Back in 2005, I sold my property in TX and trashed/donated/put in estate sale all my belongings except what fit into a 6x12 UHaul trailer and my Tahoe and headed to MN. There I began a new life with my fiance, (we just celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary).
He courted me over the Internet, snail mail and phone from Scotland starting in the fall of 2004. We met in person in June 2005 and spent about four days together. During that time, he proposed in person (after already doing it by phone). In October 2005, he came to the States to visit and we spent a couple of weeks together, after which I returned to Scotland with him until February 2006.
Dave left behind everything in Scotland - property, good job, grown sons, other relatives, and his racing - to return to the States to start our life together.
I spent two weeks preparing to move to MN, going through photos and all the other flotsam and jetsam we acquire in life and a previous marriage. I laughed, I cried, I strolled down memory lane.
I viewed it as the "death" of a previous life and the "birth" of a new one, which is was. I was beginning a new life with Dave.
When all was said and done, I got in my Tahoe with the cats and dog and we did a 3-day road trip to northern MN.
Scary? Um...perhaps, but not really. I looked to it as a new beginning, a new adventure, a new life with the Scotsman I adore to this day.
It was also very liberating to shuck off so much "baggage," both tangible and emotional.
My friends were like, "You're going to do what?!?!"but after they met Dave they understood and wished us both well.
So cry, laugh, rip up photos, sell things, donate 'em, and toss out the ironing board! Go with your heart and eyes open and enjoy your new life!
I am a 9-year cancer survivor and hold fast the philosophy that each day is to be lived to the fullest. Life is short...ENJOY!
Peace, strength and light, Betty
travelinmama said
08:09 AM Mar 12, 2010
Oh man, I can relate. We are 6 weeks from really heading out. Meanwhile we are living in our tt while still working at our JOBS and cleaning out years of packratted stuff. Pictures, dolls from all over the world and they are only sentimental to me, books that I sold and got nothing for, a huge CD collection that I sold and got really nothing for, cleaning out the office and finding that I really did live at work! LOL,
2 of our kids are excited for us, 2 are not thrilled and think we are nuts. It's something we have been dreaming of for years but it's time. We will actually be working on the road, but 4-6 mo. at a time and meeting many different people.
We took all our big furniture to a consignment shop a friend owns, it won't be a lot, but it will be better than a garage sale.
I too am excited, skeeeered (not just scared but skeeeered), but ready to get it all over with. Remembering that things don't own us, we own them.
If your going to do something and it skeeers you, do it skeeered!
hogans1947 said
09:19 PM Mar 26, 2010
My ironing board has been replaced (most of the time)with this wonderful spray stuff called Wrinkle Eraser. Downy makes it Brenda
Cyndi said
03:38 PM May 8, 2010
I went to JoAnn (craft/sewing store) and bought a large June Tailor Cut & Press Mat. They come in two sizes: 13" x 13" and 14" x 20". On one side is a cutting board and the other side is for ironing. Since it's flat it stores almost anywhere. I keep mine standing on its side between the couch and the wall. No ironing board legs to make storing awkward.
It'll all come together - and even if it's not "perfect" at first, it'll all just work itself out as you go along.
phyllen said
04:24 PM May 8, 2010
Ironing board? What is an ironing board???
You will do fine. You will be surprised at how very little you really need to live comfortably.
I'm getting real close (weeks) to moving from OH to CA to meet up with my SO and start our RV life. I'm leaving behind my 34 year old son and many belongings. The rest of my family is in NJ, way far away. I find myself alternating between excitement, fear and sadness. Was going through lots of old pictures today and burst into tears. It's not that I don't want to do this - I do. It's just such a life change and it scares me. My situation's a little different from most I think in that I've not been married for years. John's being very supportive, but I think it's difficult for men to really understand the emotions I'm feeling. So ladies, I'm reaching out to you. It'll be fine, heck it'll be great. But the leading up to is pretty heartrending.
Need your help, ladies.
Karen
Just had a thought -- it's the little things too -- silly things like where do I put an ironing board. Not necessarily rational, but part of the overall panic.
-- Edited by KD on Sunday 7th of March 2010 05:08:13 PM
It WILL be alright! I'm in the middle of cleaning out the house, giving stuff to the kids, sorting out stuff to get sold...I'm excited most of the time and can hardly wait for it all to begin.
BUT - I know that when it comes right down to the time to leave, I will be crying and wondering the same things you are. I will miss my kids, my grandkids and the life we have made here for the last 20 years.
BUT - I've been there before....military brat, military active duty and military wife. Lots of moves, lots of places. It was scary each and every time......It was hard each and every time....and each and every time we came to love the new place, the new people and the new life.
After a while it became an adventure, for us and the kids...
Yes, you will miss everything you are leaving....
BUT.....somewhere between leaving today's life and moving toward the new one, you WILL feel less sorrow and scariness and MORE and MORE excitement for the life to come.
So, just know that what you are feeling is completely normal and it too shall pass.
Doris
-- Edited by DorisandDave on Sunday 7th of March 2010 05:19:42 PM
We had an apartment after a transition from selling the condo to getting the RV. Once the food was out of the apartment it was so easy moving to the RV and not looking back. We're on the move from NC to Fl and loving every minute. Look at it as a new life, have fun.
Keep us posted, we're all here for support. You won't need the ironing board.
Dee
Karen,
Back in 2005, I sold my property in TX and trashed/donated/put in estate sale all my belongings except what fit into a 6x12 UHaul trailer and my Tahoe and headed to MN. There I began a new life with my fiance, (we just celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary).
He courted me over the Internet, snail mail and phone from Scotland starting in the fall of 2004. We met in person in June 2005 and spent about four days together. During that time, he proposed in person (after already doing it by phone). In October 2005, he came to the States to visit and we spent a couple of weeks together, after which I returned to Scotland with him until February 2006.
Dave left behind everything in Scotland - property, good job, grown sons, other relatives, and his racing - to return to the States to start our life together.
I spent two weeks preparing to move to MN, going through photos and all the other flotsam and jetsam we acquire in life and a previous marriage. I laughed, I cried, I strolled down memory lane.
I viewed it as the "death" of a previous life and the "birth" of a new one, which is was. I was beginning a new life with Dave.
When all was said and done, I got in my Tahoe with the cats and dog and we did a 3-day road trip to northern MN.
Scary? Um...perhaps, but not really. I looked to it as a new beginning, a new adventure, a new life with the Scotsman I adore to this day.
It was also very liberating to shuck off so much "baggage," both tangible and emotional.
My friends were like, "You're going to do what?!?!"but after they met Dave they understood and wished us both well.
So cry, laugh, rip up photos, sell things, donate 'em, and toss out the ironing board! Go with your heart and eyes open and enjoy your new life!
I am a 9-year cancer survivor and hold fast the philosophy that each day is to be lived to the fullest. Life is short...ENJOY!
Peace, strength and light,
Betty
2 of our kids are excited for us, 2 are not thrilled and think we are nuts. It's something we have been dreaming of for years but it's time. We will actually be working on the road, but 4-6 mo. at a time and meeting many different people.
We took all our big furniture to a consignment shop a friend owns, it won't be a lot, but it will be better than a garage sale.
I too am excited, skeeeered (not just scared but skeeeered), but ready to get it all over with. Remembering that things don't own us, we own them.
If your going to do something and it skeeers you, do it skeeered!
Brenda